What I Know About Germans: Now a Top 100!
by Guest Blogger
We love this! Our new favourite expat blogger Liv Hambrett penned this epic list when she lived in Münster, Nord Rhine Westphalia. While a lot of it differs to the things we’ve learned while living in Berlin – and it sounds like our clubs are a lot better! – much of this is universal to all our fellow countrymen. So, from an Australian expat’s point of view:
What I Know About Germans.
[EDIT: #78 proved to be so controversial that our author felt compelled to write some words of explanation. To read the point that caused so much debate, and Liv’s postscript, scroll down to the bottom of the post]
1) Germans are tall.
2) They enjoy dairy products (I suspect this has something to do with their height). They will put a cheese sauce with most things.
3)The global perception of the German love and consumption of Sauerkraut is not exaggerated.
4) They have excellent winter wardrobes (I suspect this has something to do with the fact it’s what I would classify as Winter, ten months of the year).
5) They are punctual. It’s in their genetic make up.
6) Their babies are particularly beautiful.
7) They are very good bike riders – nay, they are exceptional bike riders. They manage to look elegant whilst freewheeling down cobbled streets, pashminas blowing out behind them. They are also highly adept at riding with umbrellas.
8) Germans can eat. And drink. A lot. Regularly.
9) They love meat. In all its incarnations.
10) They are good at mostly anything they do. Or, if they’re not, they try hard and become good at it. Because …
11) Germans are thorough. They work hard and effectively (despite working some of the shortest hours in the Western world). This is why …
12) They are the strongest economy in Europe. What they do during those short hours is probably double what every other country manages to do in twice the time.
13) They speak English better than most English people I know.
14) They have unexpectedly wicked senses of humour. David Hasselhoff, anyone …
15) … a man they continue to embrace by playing “Looking for Freedom” far, far more than any other country.
16) They love a good boot.
17) And they never scuff them. Even when bike-riding in the rain.
18) They do not suffer fools gladly (thus only put up with drunk Australians and Americans during Oktoberfest because we’ll pay hideous amounts of money for hideous amounts of beer).
19) They are extremely hospitable.
20) They seem to enjoy Westlife.
21) Germans simply do not understand thongs/flip flops/jandals as viable footwear. Even when it’s warm and sunny. And a boot is impractical, or too warm for the feet to be comfortable. They will stare, bewildered, at thonged feet and quietly wonder if the wearer is mad.
22) They love a large, mind-bogglingly well stocked hardware store (with a bratwurst stand out the front). Perhaps because they quietly live by the mantra, if you want something done well, do it yourself … and we all know Germans do things well. Therefore they must be permanently well equipped to do things themselves.
23) Germans lose their shit when the sun comes out and act in a manner I can only describe as suspicious. They flock to outdoor cafes and tip their faces to the sun … but remain in boots and jeans with a pashmina close by. Even when it’s 25 degrees. Even when it’s obvious the weather isn’t going to turn. Because …
24) Germans are always prepared for the rain.
25) They are very fair people and largely adhere to regulations that exist to keep things fair.
26) They don’t appreciate the use of the rude finger when driving. If you give it to a fellow driver, that driver reserves the right to report you and your licence plate and you will get a fine. (This is why my driving career in Germany may never get off the ground).
27) German clubs routinely remind the world of the universality of 90s pop.
28) They love the breakfast meal.
29) They enjoy a darker bread. The whiter the less trustworthy.
30) In the same vein of their love for enormous hardware stores, Germans favour a mesmerisingly large Ikea (and other such stores in the same vein as Ikea) complete with an upstairs restaurant, a downstairs cafe and the all important hotdog/bratwurst stand. Because …
31) Germans can always enjoy a hotdog/bratwurst, no matter the time, no matter the place. And they never seem to drip the sauce all over themselves.
32) Germans don’t tend to jay-walk. And they judge those who do.
33) They are refreshingly comfortable with nudity.
34) Germans are generally candid people.
35) German men don’t tend to leer. On the two occasions I have been winked/beeped at, I suspect the leerers weren’t, in actual fact, German.
36) It is far too easy to buy biscuits and cake in German supermarkets because, collectively, German people have a very sweet tooth.
37) Germans love a good rule. And they reap the benefits of a rule-abiding society.
38) Germans can drink. And not just write themselves off, vomit in the bath tub at 2am, wedge in a kebab and back it up the following night, a la American/English/Australian binge drinkers … I mean drink. While the rest of the world is vomiting in the bath tub, the Germans are calmly ingesting their 57th shot and washing it down with a beer, their cheeks a little rosy, their eyes a little glazed, but their livers working as smoothly as a German made automobile.
39) This is because Germans start drinking young. They are allowed to drink ‘soft alcohol’ at 16 (so clearly start drinking it much earlier) and ‘hard alcohol’ at 18. By the time we’re all losing our shit with the Breezers, the Germans are enjoying a much more tempered relationship with alcohol … and the benefits of a much more match-fit liver.
40) They don’t necessarily say it to you face, at the time … but Germans don’t like it when you go against the tide in the supermarket.
41) Or get on the bus through the wrong door. This they will say to your face, using a microphone and an unimpressed tone.
42) If there was a study done on countries and how well they dance in a club/bar situation, Germany probably wouldn’t be in the top ten for general skill. But would they would absolutely ace the enthusiasm component.
43) Germans struggle enormously with the concept of ‘naked feet’ – as an Australian, my feet are always naked and therefore oft-commented upon.
44) Germans, Muensteranians in particular, are always exceptionally well groomed.
45) They embrace one hit wonders. Royalties from German radio probably single-handedly keep the singers the rest of the world wants to forget, in rent-money.
46) Germans are not afraid to whip out the smoke machine on the dance floor.
47) They are not ones to make small talk at the supermarket check-out. Or in general, really. Sure, they’ll talk if you talk to them, but they’re not great Small Talk Instigators. I have discussed this with a German who I was, ironically, making small talk with in a department store. He suspects it is because the German language is not particularly made for meandering small talk. I wonder if he might be onto something. His own brand of small talk was honed on frequent trips to America.
48) Germans enjoy frozen vegetables.
49) In keeping with Article 34, Germans are very open and relaxed about most things sex related. It is so refreshing to have it dealt with, minus the bullshit.
50) Germans have turned creating quark, yoghurt and cream cheese based snacks into an artform.
51) They have the single most nerve-inducingly rapid supermarket check-outs in the world.
52) Germans seem to really enjoy How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men and crime fiction.
53) They love their dogs. Often their dogs catch the bus with them and sometimes their dogs even dine with them in restaurants.
54) Germans. Love. Bakeries.
55) They don’t tend to go to the shops in trackpants and slippers. I do. I think they suspect I am a homeless person with a penchant for Quark.
56) Germans do not see a need for conversational subtext. It is a waste of time and Germans do not like wasting time. If you cannot say it as directly as possible, do not say it at all.
57) It saddens me to report there seems to be a higher instance of socks and sandals paired together in Germany, than in other countries.
58) Germans are distrustful of any beverage that doesn’t sparkle.
59) They are similarly distrustful of any bread in a sliced-form. This is relegated to the toaster (‘toast brot’) and sandwiches made with sliced bread enjoy a disproportionately small section of the bakery display.
60) They can stomach raw meat for breakfast … topped with onion. This alone results in an even deeper respect for the German constitution, on my behalf.
61) Germany was responsible for the 90s smash, “Coco Jumbo”.
62) Germans love Dachshunds and seem to own several of them at once. Interestingly enough, they are not called Dachshunds in Germany, despite it being a German name, and are instead called ‘Dackels’. I suspect this adoration of Dachshunds stems from their physical similarity to wurst (when I say suspect, I mean ‘I am certain’) because, and I cannot bullet point this enough …
63) Germans worship wurst.
64) Germans extract a curiously large amount of pleasure from the acts of giving, receiving and processing paperwork. They revel in it. Roll in it. Cover themselves with it and inhale the scent of paper.
65) Those who work for the German government seem to … never work at all. It’s like their entire system is efficient enough to work by itself, without humans doing anything except photocopying and stamping things.
66) German banks don’t often feel the need to be open. And if they are open, it’s never at a time that’s convenient for anybody else. They don’t seem to have gotten the hang of shift work that would enable the bank to remain open for lunch.
67) Germany loves a public holiday. Bavaria in particular.
68) Similar to how they worship wurst, Germans worship the pig. There is no part of the pig that cannot be boiled, shredded, fried, processed, mashed, diced and consumed.
69) Germans have this … thing … with bureaucracy.
70) Should a contestant, for example, on a family friendly ‘celebrity special game show’ or something, be a nude model, German TV is totally down with displaying a great deal of her portfolio, to the audience at home. Pre 9pm. In fact, pre 8pm. See article 34 and 50.
71) Germans worship (as well as wurst and bread) at the altar of the three Ps – Practicality, Punctuality (see point 5) & Planning.
72) They are rather thrifty and don’t have the weird Anglo qualms with talking about money.
73) Germans seem to enjoy camping.
74) They are bizarrely superstitious about wishing people a Merry Christmas too early, opening presents early and celebrating birthdays early.
75) Germans have bottomless basements.
76) They like buying drinks in packs of 6 1.5l bottles which are then dutifully recycled, bottle by bottle.
77) Boris Becker and Til Schweiger are the go-to celebrities for game shows.
78) Germans are bizarrely wary of drinking tap water.
More Things I Know About Germans!
Being thorough Germans (see point #11), some readers noticed that our listed ended at 78, and started making suggestions for a top 100 things to know about Germans. Many trends appeared and most hilarious observations were repeated, which suggests to us they are totally anthropologically sound. We collected their comments, tweets and Facebook responses, and the following is an amalgamation of some very funny observations.
79) Germans love football. Love it. In fact the most passionate you will ever see a German is when they are watching, talking about, thinking about, dreaming about or playing, football.
80) You may also catch a German in an act of passion if you raise the topic of cars. Germans love their cars and are very proud of their ability to make such good ones. Just ask them.
81) It is a good thing they have good cars and an Autobahn of terrifying speed because the Deutsche Bahn is Germany’s dirty little inefficient secret. You absolutely cannot get on a train and not have a delay. The delay comes with your ticket purchase, free of charge. It’s DB’s gift to you. And you will purchase a ticket because…
82) Most Germans seem to, even though there are so many occasions upon which they could get away with not having a ticket. This sense of honesty will eventually rub off on you. I felt guilt-ridden for an entire day when I once avoided eye contact with a friendly DB ticket inspector in the dining cart because I didn’t have the correct ticket. He didn’t check me, I didn’t volunteer to buy one off him, it was just a cesspool of dishonesty. I’m sorry. It hasn’t happened again.
83) Germans of a certain age seem to really enjoy Jack Wolfskin jackets. Prior to turning 60, the preferred brand seems to be Woolrich. Come Winter, Germany turns into a sea of identical jackets, people’s age distinguishable only by the brand they’re wearing.
84) There is an obvious divide when it comes to what kind of high school you went to (there are 3) and what kind of leaving certificate you gained. And what kind of further education you go on to do, whether it be university for an extremely long period of time (honestly, no one does university quite like the Germans) or one of Germany’s millions of Ausbildungs.
85) The whole country quivers with excitement every New Years Eve when they sit down and watch Dinner for One, a British sketch comedy. To be fair, I think most of Northern Europe quivers with excitement and apparently it is broadcast in Australia as well (who knew). But the supremely odd thing isn’t a national obsession with a 1920s black and white sketch comedy from another country that has nothing to do with New Years Eve, but the fact that this is the one film the Germans don’t dub.
86) Germans have this thing with online privacy. It is a rare German indeed who uses their full name on Facebook as opposed to a bizarre cross section of their first and last names, eg: Mo Na Berg or Le Na.
87) Germans can’t queue. Full stop, the end. They don’t know how, they have no interest in trying. This is the one time Germans embrace a lack of system and what happens when a queue is called for is the unfortunate culmination of Germanic forcefulness and uncertainty in the face of a system-less world. Take, for example, what happens in a supermarket when another check out line opens. Instead of calmly indicating the person at the top of the queue, yet to unload their basket onto the conveyor belt, should head up the new checkout line, there is this mad dash like a scattered flock of sheep, and your standing in the original queue becomes completely irrelevant. If you are fast enough, you can theoretically come from well behind and end up getting served before the person five people in front of you, who has been patiently waiting for 10 minutes. And no one thinks anything of it.
88) Germans can open a beer bottle with anything. The couch, a coffee mug, a banana. Body parts. It’s like they all secretly take a class at school when they’re eleven, in preparation for a life time of beer consumption. Next time you are with a German, hide the bottle opener and casually hand them your beer. They will flick off the top using a toothpick as if it is the most normal thing in the world.
89) On the topic of bottles, Germans have absolutely nailed the bottle recycling system. They love a good pfand. They buy their six packs of 1.5L sparkling water, consume them, then go right back to where they got them from, pop the bottles in a machine and get 25c back per bottle. This refund is then deducted from their grocery shopping. It is a beautiful, seamless, adhered-to system. Most people do it! And , in the unlikely event a bottle with pfand gets tossed out, don’t worry, it will be collected by someone more than happy to claim that 25c.
90) There exist, in Germany, these funny little gardens called, quite naturally, kleingärten (or Schrebergärten). One can rent these little squares of land, cultivate a garden and sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labours by resting in a little hut. The idea is those who don’t have backyards can enjoy the therapeutic benefits of having a garden. These gardens are most often extremely neat. This is because a) most German gardens are and b) there is a set of rules as developed by each garden community and we all know how Germans feel about rules.
91) In the average German garden, big or small, you will notice they seem unable to resist the lure of the garden gnome. There is almost always one, lurking sinisterly beneath a bush, or partaking in some sort of Mise-en-scène with other concrete characters and a perfectly clipped shrub.
92) Germans will always try and shake your hand. I have adopted the hug-shock tactic that basically involves flinging myself on the extended hand and crushing it between our embracing bodies.
93) Germans produce some of the best beer in the world and then bust out a cactus fruit beer mix, or a cola beer, or a prickly pear and grapefruit beer. Admittedly I drink them, but I am a beer drinker’s worst nightmare, so if I am drinking beer it isn’t a good thing.
94) Then again, Germans seem to enjoy mixing drinks. For example, their beloved cola/orange soft drink – Spezi, Schwip Schwap, Mezzo Mix, whatever you want to call it. And they have taken wine spritzers to the next level by popping a red wine spritzer on the menu. Imagine.
95) Germans are inordinately proud of their states, districts, district-free cities, city states, regions, sub-regions, dialects, entirely different vocabularies, sub-cultures, traditions, festivals and basically being really different from the ten-house village that is 5km away because that ten-house village is in an entirely different region and therefore nothing like this village.
96) Germans love Spargel. They love Spargel and anything to do with Spargel, like Spargel peelers and Spargel steamers and Spargel platters. Forget Christmas or Easter or any other notable markers, the German year revolves around Spargelsaison.
97) Germany has assumed the döner kebab as a national dish, Germanified it with pickled cabbage and elevated it to where it now sits, loftily, alongside other key German snacks like currywurst and fischbrötchen.
98) Germans actually, largely, respect ‘Quiet Time’ on Sundays, when they don’t vacuum, use lawn mowers or other loud appliances and generally keep noise levels to a bare minimum. In some parts, an unspoken evening Quiet Time is enforced, via disapproval or neighbourly note leaving. Please note church bells are exempt from all Quiet Times.
99) As ingrained in the German psyche as Quiet Time on Sunday, is the Sunday viewing of crime show, Tatort.
100) Germans stare. Not in a way designed to be particularly rude – although could be perceived that way if you have grown up in a culture where your mother hisses ‘don’t stare, it’s rude!’ when you are openly curious about something – but in an unabashed, piercing, inquisitive way that makes you wonder if you have food on your face or your skirt is tucked into your underpants.
[…] During the last few weeks the class 9d dealt with some theses of the blog „What I know about Germans“. […]
[…] list of USA/German differences on my blog. You can view that list here. I was initially inspired by this list. Well, my friends have now gotten on board and we’ve been keeping a running tab on my cell […]
[…] This is now my third time living in Germany for an extended period of time and it is amazing how many differences exist between the United States and Germany. Here are some observations and cultural differences I’ve noticed! I was inspired to write this list after reading this list. […]
I am a German living since many years on the other side of the Atlantic, and enjoyed greatly this list! Too funny, not always accurate yet very helpful for my American companion, and therefore for most readers I am sure … ;)) Thanks!
My little grain of salt: Point 101, Germans love to do their own jams and marmalades… even better if it’s a personally created fruitful combination, stored away for months or even years in the bottomless cellars ;))
Point 102: Making their own breads, cakes and cookies, especially before Advent (pre Christmas time), and as most is done with real honey and excellent materials like almonds, hazelnuts and dry fruits, it can be stored for months and years, also mostly in the bottomless cellars, or in nicely decorated tin cans in the kitchen cabinets. So, anytime surprise visitors come, no need to go to the bakery shop…
103: Unexpected visitor/s are not very welcomed… to be honest it is almost impossible to get inside a home without previous agreement. The British have their saying “My home’s my Castle”, well the Germans have raised this to higher levels, LOL! Previous appointment required, at least for those 40+ of age…
What the hardware store is for men, is the Handicraft shop is for women… Wool, Silk, Cotton, all kind of fabric for making very creative personalized garments, and also fantastical jewelry…
For this, in any bookstore or retail store one can find an infinite amount of magazines for home-made WHATEVER.
It is also seen as the BEST GIFT ever, to give away something hand-made.
And it will be done with prudence and caution, so it comes out PERFECT, ha ha !
I am flattered <3
Something that just came to mind – I am an american at Muenster University and noticed, after a speaker concluded their talk, the desk tapping thing that is done instead of clapping. I found this very curious and wondered why they tap instead of clap, and how it began. Thanks for the very houmerous and insightful article!
Hi Guys,
Thanks for the good laugh!
Another characteristic of Germans is, if you are going to make fun about German stereotypes, the Germans WILL go nuts. The best examples are in the comments of all the pissed Germans explaining themselves. Maybe point #101?
Und für alle Landsleute: lacht drüber, denn dafür ist dieser Text geschrieben und nicht etwa um uns zu provozieren…
I’m a Malaysian and have been in a relationship with a German man for nearly 6 years and I’m not sure whether I want to be married to him or not lol
He does possess some of the “traits” mentioned above but punctuality isn’t one of them although this could be due to the fact that he’s been living in Asia for too long.
-He speaks English quite well but sometimes does not understand the nuances of the language and this frustrates me to no end as he tends to misconstrue my words quite often.
-Sometimes I am more German than he is when it comes to getting things done. Unlike him, I tend to not give up on solving technical problems too easily.
Other than that , he’s all right. We do have a lot in common and that’s the glue that’s holding us together ….or at least that’s what I think.
Good day I am so excited I found your blog page, I really found you by accident, while I was looking on Yahoo for something
else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to
say many thanks for a incredible post and a all round
interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to
browse it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I
have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the great job.
I’m german and this list is merely a collection of clichés. Not everybody love meat, beer, cars and dogs… And we don’t have 10 mounth winter! I would say 4/5.
Hello would you mind letting me know which web host you’re working with?
I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most.
Can you recommend a good internet hosting provider at a
fair price? Kudos, I appreciate it!
Really like all these steam showers
[…] list of USA/German differences on my blog. You can view that list here. I was initially inspired by this list. Well, my friends have now gotten on board and we’ve been keeping a running tab on my cell […]
[…] This is now my third time living in Germany for an extended period of time and it is amazing how many differences exist between the United States and Germany. Here are some observations and cultural differences I’ve noticed! I was inspired to write this list after reading this list. […]
Definiere Deutschland: Pfandautomat reklamiert zerdrückte Flasche. Kunde richtet Flasche. Automat akzeptiert Flasche. Und zerdrückt sie.
I’m in Holland, and when you go to the beach, you can point out any German without a problem. They dig holes for the whole family and reside in them until they go again at the end of the day 🙂
There is an idiom in Germany “This sells like sliced bread!” – and it is meant positively. We are not exactly weary of sliced bread at all, we just like to buy our loafs. In fact, most bakeries have a bread-slicing machine, so you can ask them, right as you buy it, to put it through the slicer and take a plastic bag with finely sliced bread home with you. A lot of Germans do prefer their electrical home-slicers, howerver.
Sliced Bread? Eher: Es verkauft sich wie warme Semmeln – “warm bread”,hm?
Verkauft sich wie geschnitten Brot ist mir (Rheinhesse) auch geläufig.
I wish you would write an article about Bavarians! Do you think they are different than the rest of Germany?
[…] eine typisch deutsch Top 100 erstellt und natürlich auch veröffentlicht hat. Das Original gibt es hier , ich möchte euch jedoch eine gekürzte Fassung nicht […]
This text is awesome! I am german too and couldn’t believe it and needed to laugh when u revealed the DB secret because it’s so true! I thing this whole list really depends on the age of the people you meet. For example this love my car thing is a topic which mainly exists at the average age of 40 years and older (men only!).
Anyways this list is just awesome! The best foreign observation without any prejudices I’ve ever seen. Turning to another point, I have to say that many young germans tend to dislike the german social habits (I’m one of them). I dunno I just don t feel comfortable when the car driver stared at me when I went over zebra crossing and he then needed to stop BECAUSE of me. It’s hilarious sometimes I wave at them and they just don’t show any emotions/expressions like they don t know how to deal with the situation.
I can’t believe how almost everyone here commenting bullshit and fake themselves.
The types of people commenting :
1. Germans who like the fact that this Text is good about germans, and not bad and just accept the fact that they don´t care what people think .. They only care if it’s rather good or bad about germans.
2. People who aren’t german / don’t know a lot germans / Who never saw a german
I’l explain how this text is wrong in fact you will see HOW wrong it is:
Germans are unbelievable racist, if in school in work or whereever.. I am not saying everyone is racist but there is a ton of racists who think its funny to say : Fuck off you jew ! / You Turks should get out of our land first (sometimes even if you aren’t a turk?/jew? We moved a lot in germany and this is almost everywhere most of the people dont even like spargel / wurst altough i can confirm they love beer as much as their kids. I’ll stop writing from here because its pointless doing this but I hope i changed your imagination of germany ! If anyone wants to move to germany they wont accept you as a german even if you live there 90% of your life or even if you are born there but with 1 nongerman parents well this is pointless and I can confim… Germans are tall and like to annoy the fuck out of more little people to feel confident .. I can confirm this at work well im out
Somebody feeling a little disappointed there? Sorry you’ve made bad experiences, but what you’re writing isn’t true either, cause things we experience can NEVER be overgeneralized unless it’s analyzed scientifically. Take the German “Durchschnittsfrau”, for example: she’s only 5’4”. If you think this is tall, then we know how much your statements are true…
Excuse me good sir but YOU are full of shit.
They won’t accept you as a full-blooded ‘German’ because you’re not, but that won’t degrade you.
And the thing with the Turks has more to do with a rather grotesque sense of humor. Don’t take everything serious, my goodness. And in my years I have never heard a joke about jews.
oh boy, did you get germany wrong. no clue where you have been, but surely you had more bad luck than any other foreigner ever, or you may have pissed of the germans around you quite a lot…
btw, your comment sounds as racist to me, as you tell the germans to be.
me being german, but living in another country, i experience things such as you did, but these things are exceptions, while more than 90% of the local people treat me with respect, 5 % simply don´t care and yes indeed, 5 % are kinda racist, some more, some less… being german i agree with almost half of the “rules” in this article. some others are more like a regional thing, but if YOU travelled Germany as you said, i find it quite disturbing how you could NOT see some of these things be true…
but it´s pointless to try to make you believe, Germany is not such a bad place. Actually i start to believe you are german, ignorant and racist as you are… 😉
I am German, and though I do not live in Germany, I have travelled to Germany many times and have many friends there. I agree that much of this list is incorrect and highly stereotypical, but what you are saying is much more incorrect. Racism is next to nonexistant in Germany. I hope that you are American, because in that case this would be hilariously ironic, as America is unadmittedly extremely racist as a nation.
From a German that is in no way racist
P.S. You might want to take an online “English as a second language” course, because your English is quite terrible at times. Anyone who graduates school in Germany can write better English than that.
In my experience , my german bf he is not racist and I agree with what you said .. He can speak and write very good english , he even teach me some of english literature and hystory of english language . And he never underestimate me , even if I’m not as smart as him and not as tall as him , and not as white as him . Once I visit his family in stuttgart , I felt .. Have not enough selfconfidence with my brown skin , but his family very warm , and they took me to some nice places for family recreationa and picnic … I can see the proof , they are NOT RACIST , they are no mater if I’m asian .one day … He took me to once of his family member wedding party ,Without I said if I’m asian … All his family can see if I’m look different around them , but they are very nice time , and I’m not felt alone . Especially his mom and his sister , they are very good to me , and I enjoy the moment 🙂
I’m indonesian and I have a german lover since.. nearly 4 yeras , I like this page , cause in my experience , meine liebe he is not a racist man , he is an intelligent man and a working hard man , he is not stingy .he can speak a few languages including indonesian language , even though I didn’t speak english well , but because of he can speak indonesian very well , we have no problem in communication . He never underestimate me , instead he said … It’s nothing wrong with your english , no problem mein schatz … English is not your first language . 🙂 , he teach me a lot of things .. And he is really enjoy to know about nnew things , tradition and culture in my country . He is really an easy going man and have sence of humor . 🙂 , I felt lucky that I met such a nice german man , I call him , meine liebe 🙂 .
Dear Erlina,
Your boyfriend sounds like a wonderful man, and you are clearly in love! Thank you for your very special post. You are both very lucky to have each other :).
As an American living in Germany, I agree with every single point and love the humor in your very accurate account of German behavior. There are a few things that I would add that I didn’t see in the article:
1. Opening the windows to ‘exchange the air’ in the house no matter what the temperature is outside.
2. If you aren’t German, you are incapable of doing anything correctly, and they will literally take something out of your hands without asking, and do it themselves, instead of telling you how to do it, expecting you to watch and remember exactly what they are doing differently so that you can do it the ‘correct’ way the next time, which may be 6 months later, during which time you’ve forgotten and have to endure the entire process again.
3. The comment about German racism is absolutely true, but maybe not appropriate for this lighthearted article.
4. They swim in the sea at all times of the year.
5. They don’t understand the purpose of the AC button on the car’s heating system and leave it on at all times, even when they have the heat turned on.
6. Did you mention they love to read the news? And watch the news? And listen to the same news on the radio that they already read and watched? (Although I’ve been told the news on the radio is different than the news they already read in the paper, or on the internet, or watched on t.v.) And that when the news is on the radio, even if you’re in the middle of a sentence, you must immediately stop talking? (Because the radio news tells them, in addition to the news they already heard, and read, and watched, where the blitzer cameras (Automatic cameras that photograph speeding drivers) are located. Does this sound redundant? Maybe you need to read it again. They.love.the.news.repeatedly.
7. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an exhaust fan in a German bathroom, or public restroom. So when you shower, no matter the outside temperature, you must open the bathroom window. However, if someone uses the room for…er, um…something else that requires ventilation, no windows are opened in consideration for the next person entering the room.
8. They will push past other people in all public places with no apology.
9. There is no understanding of the concept of ‘personal space’, as in physical proximity.
10.Although they do stare, I read in another article that this is the German way of flirting, which ties in with a comment here about the lack of flirting as other nationalities know it.
11.German restrooms, both public and private, are immaculate! If you are American, you will never want to use an American restroom again.
12. Waitresses always ask if the bill is ‘all together’, even if a man and woman are (seemingly) obviously, together.
13. A wife is ‘my Frau’, a girlfriend is ‘my Frau’, a female employee is my ‘work Frau’, a housekeeper is my ‘house Frau’, and so on. I now understand the Biblical concept of multiple wives (Frauen)
14. German public employees, such as bank tellers, waitresses, hotel clerks, cashiers, etc., are scary people. They don’t understand the concept of ‘friendly service’.
15. Because the sun so rarely shines, no matter where they are when the sun comes out, every German will turn, seemingly as one, with their chins up, facing the sun.
16. Grun kohl.
As a German, I agree with the things you said, other than what you said about the racism comment being true. You might like to read my reply to that.
Point 101: Germans love to do their home-made marmalades and jams in all kind of fruitful combinations, and still they do canned vegetables, stored in their bottomless cellars (a war-time custom taught to overcome difficult times).
[…] And last but not least, to borrow from this brilliant blog, What I Know About Germans: […]
Nice post! I enjoyed reading this because it is very real and true and not based on stereotypes! Germany is an interesting place to live 😉
[…] is your favorite post? It might seem obvious, but our What I Know about Germans post is like David Hasslehoff’s “Looking For Freedom”: ubiquitous, infectious, and, for some […]
Leaving in Germany…I tend to agree. I laughed about the staring part. It’s not that German people are cold…it is that they communicate their feelings much more through their eyes…
Living*
[…] What I Know About Germans : uberlin […]
shit
[…] Ok, besides that, living in Germany can be both fantastic and infuriating. I haven’t mentioned the cultural differences yet, but I’m sometimes blown away by things that seem completely rude to me as a Canadian, but push me to realize that I can be a tad indirect and over-polite in keeping with the Canadian cliche. It’s often nice to be living in a country that seems to foster low-ego as a public right, and where saying things as they are is not so shocking. I’m still working on this too:) Anyway, other more experienced and sophisticated people have written a great deal about German culture (and language – check out Mark Twain’s take on the German language next time you’re feeling frustrated.) This is quite a comprehensive list worth reading if you’re interested in moving to Germany: http://www.uberlin.co.uk/what-i-know-about-germans/ […]
That list is awesome!
I really enjoy reading it but it’s strange, too.
There are many points I agree to but yet so many that make me feel like a stranger.
I cannot deal with the passion about socker and I hate that stupid car-thing going on almost everywhere everytime.
Oh, and that beer-thing is true but I do not drink it, like it and I absolutely cannot open it except with an opener and I don’t know how all the others learned it^^
And living hear I don’t have the impression that we are more candid than in other countries or more punctual.
Well, I could go on and on about things I’m experiencing different than you have, but I think it’s enough for now.
Thanks for the article!:D
Nice Article! I’m from Germany and really enjoyed it!
Greets from Ingolstadt (:
nice article. fun to read. thanks for all the lovely words which where spoken. The bad ones I’ll keep in mind and try to adopt some better behaviour – perhaps ^^.
(Like the queuing or the staring)
The only thing I wouldn’t sign is #91 … Even if they are quite popular here I wouldn’t give them more then (ca) 20% of the gardens. Perhaps in rural areas. But not in “Schrebergärten” or cities.
Thanks for this nice article anyway!
Fun to read!
Don’t agree with Andreas… Maybe some clichés, but still true… And besides it’s all about personal experiences and perceptions. I must say, Münster is quite some place to stay for an Australian living in Germany!
Thanks Liv, for obviously having a good time there!
sorry, boring clichés….you haven`t really “lived” there, have you?
Of course she has! Can’t you tell. As a German myself (not necessarly typical or conventional though), I think she is a pretty good observer. My wife, an American, wholeheartedly agrees. This is how we come across … not everyone of course, but in general, you’ll have to live with it. And I found it rather charming and entertaining, even though I personally do not fit into that picture. But I know exactly what she is talking about. Also, mach dich locker! Ist schon weitestgehend richtig beobachtet!
one suggestion though … live in a city for some time … because Muenster is pretty much “Provinz” (no pun intended). Things are a little different there … 😉 …
This is actually pretty accurate for a lot of people in germany. If you don’t see it, look again.
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at first i have to say that i am german but i quite enjoyed your 100 things about germany list it was quite funny to see germany through a foreigners eye. anyway i have to add that some of your points were quite stereotype but to some up i quite enjoyed your list and i would be glad to welcome you back to our lovely germany.
[…] stereotypes and assumptions about what is typisch deutsch (typically German); the viral blog post What I know about Germans is just one example of trendy list-making of all things ‘German’ by temporary residents; […]
I’m learning German, and I hope to visit there someday.
Do Germans love fuzzy hats, too?
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a German in a fuzzy hat. Is that a thing?
I agree with most points taken.
You mentioned the sunday low noise. In fact, Germany don’t like hearing noise from neighbours at all, esp. not after 10pm., it has to do with being raised up to stay quiet ( don’t bother other people), and the time when hard-working people are going to bed.
Another point is: Germans tend to pay in cash, though card-paying is getting more popular. Be aware though, most people pay with a mastercard(ec-card), not a visa-card.
About the staring:
I don’t know if it is the same with all germans but my parents always told me to look them in the eyes when they were talking to me (especially when they were scolding me). Besides, looking at people while having a conversation indicates that you are paying attention to them. It’s considered polite.
About 92. The greeting
As far as i observed, germans are afraid of being indiscreed. we don’t want to force a hug on someone who we do not know so well and risk making them feel uncomfortable. I offer a hand to strangers, superiors or people way older than i.
A sidenote on german television.
lately i noticed a phenomenon called “assi-tv” to be increasing.
Tv series about mostly uneducated and unemployed people in their daily struggles with nagging neighbors and ill-bred offspring. I really hope that only old people contribute to the viewing figures of those shows.
Thank you very much for giving me a good laugh!
Right, correct and totally true.
About the staring: so true. We mean to be polite, not frightening 😉
Greeting: well, yes. Everyone I don’t know trying to hug me would be…well…getting into my personal space.
[…] 2. http://www.uberlin.co.uk/what-i-know-about-germans/ […]
Good job… 🙂
I heard a lot people complaining about Germans (I’m from Germany too). They say “Germans can’t change” “They’re all nazis” and such things. That’s really frusterating! They never listen when I’m trying to tell that it’s nonesense.
I appreciate you did not do it. Honestly 😉 !
But I wouldn’t we just love soccer, actually, I need it for living. Nothing’s better than soccer <3
There some points I don't agree with but it's mostly right 😉
Maybe you could've said just one more things.
There are some city which have a rival or more. Dortmund and Gelsenkirchen or Köln and Düsseldorf, which is way better than Köln, are the most popular.
Greetings from West Germany 😀
Thanks for the comment. We agree that all of the prejudices against Germans/Germany harboured by countries like England are just bullshit. We love the Germans!
I’m British and I do not agree with such nonsense. Recently though, due to increased immigration at a rapid pace, people in general are feeling more prejudiced as they are worried about employment etc. As a whole though, England isn’t horribly prejudiced like people imagine… I believe Germany sounds like a wonderful place to visit, I plan to go after finishing university 🙂
[…] 2. http://www.uberlin.co.uk/what-i-know-about-germans/ […]
bullshit
You know a lot! We should make you an honorary member of the tribe!
very good list!!
but did you mention the weather point?
germans always!!! complain about the weather!!they are never confortable with what the weather is like!
most of the time it is too cold and it rains so it’s easy to complain..but in the unlikely case it is not they will instantly find another reason!
If the sun is shining and the sky is deep blue it’s soon getting too warm! In fact what the germans want is caribbean weather just without the heat..maybe 15 – 20 degree..that’s perfect especially while you are at work!
But if it’s “only” 15-20 degree during the day it’s getting to cold in the afternoon/evening to sit outside..so please for the evening around 22-25 degree..thanks!
and then there’s also the rain-problem! because germans always have flowers that need a lot of water since it rains 90% of the year!but please not during the day!!so maybe if it could start raining at about 12pm and then rain till sunrise..perfect!!
alright now maybe a german would be slightly confortable with what the weather is like!!
but very likely this doesn’t last long cause he will for sure find another point that misfits him!!:P
btw are you or have you been livin in münster?
bc some things you mention really don’t fit for other places but münster!!but they fit very well to that city (for exampe the jay-walking thing..and the bratwurststand in fron of a baumarkt did remind me of the time i was living there:P)
My hubby is German (I am English) and we visit Germany a few times a year. I was sat here reading this and could relate to most and was laughing a lot as he has these “bred into him” rules and ways and I see other german people do too. The article is spot on and hilarious.
(PS I always get pulled back for jay walking at traffic lights when there by him)
Wonderful, I enjoyed every line.
Greetings from Heidelberg
I laughed the entire time reading this list, so funny! There are so many of them that I find to be completely true! Especially #95!
Laughing so much – I am a German living in the south of Germany and I must say you are absolutely right.
It´s interesting how people from other countries perceive us – some things I am proud about and others not so…
Another german thing..at least here in the south … is Schorle. Schorle is a mix of fruit juice and sparkling water half and half. Right now Rhubarb and Blackcurrant is very popular – but the good old Apfelsaftschorle still beats them all.
Meine familie kommt aus der naehe von Hannover, und ich glaube das mit der Apfelschorle gibt es nicht nur in Sued-Deutschland, ich trinke grundsaetzlich nur Apfelschorle oder Ostfriesentee d:
Most of them are true! (I’m German) And most things are quiet natural for me. I Spargel is the only vegetable I eat 😀 We eat meat for Meal almost every day. And haha I hate pointless smalltalk. I rarely hug people and I never went by train without a ticket. Kids start drinking with 13-14 Years. But I hate David Hasslehof and Sauerkraut!!!
[…] producing a self-published book based on our hugely popular post, ”What I Know About Germans“. The writer, an Australian based out of Kiel, is working on hilarious new content, and the […]
My boyfriend is German. This explains so much.
Ich finde viele Sachen stimmen nicht, zumindest nicht mit den deutschen in meiner Umgebung 🙂
They dislike the French!
Just like the French dislike the Germans.
[…] http://www.uberlin.co.uk/what-i-know-about-germans/ […]
Literally couldn’t stop laughing at some of these. God we are strange haha :DD
Living in Munchen for the last 1.5 yrs as American Expat I have to say this is right on the money..literally couldn’t stop laughing at some of these..but laughing with warmth because we love living here! I’d have to add that German women love their scarves, and not just in winter. It doesn’t seem to matter how roasting hot it is, they’ll have traded their pasminas for light-weight cotton numbers.Hhow they manage to festoon their necks with these and not have sweat dripping down, completely floors me. Another thing of note : Babies must have hats on at all times. German moms are vigilant about dressing for warmth. Again it can be 80 degrees out & ff you make the mistake of taking your baby out hat-less, you will be accosted by complete strangers chiding you for your mistake. Seriously. This makes me wonder if Germans have some inner thermostat which allows them to regulate heat differently than the rest of us. Anyhoo thats my 2 cents worth and thanks so much for the laughs!
The kids are supposed to wear hats in order to avoid a sunburn. Not to keep them warm. Germans are absolutely fearful concerning their health and parents don’t want their children to end up with skin cancer -that is at least the main idea behind it 🙂
That is quite an impressive list about us germans.
But ‘Dinner for one’ (#85) is actually a German production 😉
Yeah, we discovered that later – it stars and I think is directed by Brits, but in Germany.
[…] that’s not going to fly in Germany. You might find the natives donning their sensible sandals (with socks), summer edition breathable dayglo Jack Wolfskin anoraks and parasol-cum-umbrellas – because […]
[…] When I first arrived here almost four years ago, I spent a few months in totally unexpected culture shock. Sure, many people speak English, but that hardly helped me to decipher this new and strange city, with its impossibly long words and curious customs. […]
My husband is half German ancestry. He never lived in Germany, not particularly schooled in his heritage, does not speak a word of it. However, it seems engrained into him – he is punctual to the point of being annoying, he is extremely rule abiding – gets frustrated if we go in the “out” door, drive over the speed limit by 1 mile an hour, etc. He loves his work & is very good at it… in fact, he works hard at being very good at what he does. He is a vegetarian… and a very strict one. He loves to garden & lines up flowers/plants like little soldiers. & he hates wearing sandals/naked feet! These HAVE to be genetically embedded!
I could go on further, but you get the idea… 🙂
Love that article! 🙂
The Germans love to see the world and they are widely travelled.
They love holidays.
I like the article,also like germans
people style..too
As a German i can only agree with every singel point really amazing list 🙂
[…] might seem obvious, but our What I Know about Germans post is like David Hasslehoff’s “Looking For Freedom”: ubiquitous, infectious, and every […]
I love the list, it’s 93% accurate, thank you for that. I think Germans and British should keep much tighter relationships, both economic and cultural. I like these two nations.
There is something I’d like to add to the list.
101. Germans saved Mini… Rolls Royce… Bentley… and German’s engine ‘pulls’ Aston Martin car.
I love your list 🙂
You should make a small addition to no. 95 though-we not only believe we are very different from the next village we also hate that village with a passion and vice versa 😉
Germans are Aryans!!! Yay!!!!
What does that have to do with anything?
Aryans are indians. I suppose you nevere visited a german school.
They watch a Dinner For One in Germany too?! D:
My cousin’s girlfriend from Norway said they watch it at Christmas as well, but I thought it was just in Norway where they did that. It’s funny really because most British people have never heard of it. Surely there are much better things to watch?
I had never heard of this program until I lived in Germany.
[…] blogging was a natural next step. What is your favorite post? It might seem obvious, but our What I Know about Germans post is like David Hasslehoff’s “Looking For Freedom”: ubiquitous, infectious, and, for some […]
[…] from Melanie Friedrich: Second Screen Social Media Gesellschaft AI Sort Share http://www.uberlin.co.uk 3 months […]
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[…] *If you like funny lists (let’s face it, who doesn’t?) then here are two for you: http://venturevillage.eu/how-to-be-german-part-1http://www.uberlin.co.uk/what-i-know-about-germans/ […]
Haha great list! Having recently moved to Germany a few months ago, I definitely agree with most of your points!!
I actually recently even wrote a piece on German stereotypes if you want to check it out!
http://confessedtravelholic.com/2012/12/german-stereotypes-truths-lies-and-more.html
[…] Another anglophone yet Australian point of view […]
The article screams sycophancy. Were you writing this while kneeling down on your knees kissing german ass?
No, but we – and the writer – do like Germans. It would be hard to live in Germany if we didn’t.
Some side notes about “Dinner for One”: Actually it’s not from the 1920s, but from 1963. Also, it’s not from Britain, but was produced and recorded by the NDR (the Norddeutsche Rundfunk) in Hamburg – though it is correct that Freddy Frinton and his acting partner May Warden are indeed from Britain.
In addition:
101. Germans love to correct others (there!)
Still hating asparagus,
Balu
Never mind, didn’t read the older comments… Still 101. is correct 🙂
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Thank you for this list! I couldn’t stop laughing and as a German & having spent most of my life there, I can only agree with every single point!
Except for the staring… but I’ll pay attention to that now.
This page is great! I’ll recommend it to all my friends, visiting!
Thanks Mika
Can I ask how you found out about this blog post?
We love knowing where our new German fans come from!
any body guide me i want to take admission in German University, i did MBA Finance
Hi, I do agree with most things but I would add another: Germans take at least a few months to accept you as a friend (maybe around 6 months is the average), following which they will be your loyal friends FOR LIFE.
to speak in my behalf that’s true.
is there a difference to other countries?
101. German men are mostly gay.
mayhem…and people who write such comments are mostly STUPID
yeah…. that’s why there are so FEW of them, right? Makes me question your intelligence. You get that, right….?
[…] a little news; something I have been working on with Überlin was casually announced this week – an illustrated e-book based on What I Know About […]
I do agree with most of the facts you were talking about. Iam german but i hate Spargel 🙂 haha. but i know so many people who are crazy about this vegetable. haha. i also agree with Paggy. there is a difficult between people in the east of germany and the west. i feel like the eastern are more open minded persons. a lot of people from the west that know somebody in the east will agree i think. and i have to say that – when i was in england with my band and private – the english people are always talking to you when you are alone in a bar or club, in germany this will never happen that often/that way. i miss this sometimes 🙂 so, thank you for all the facts! 😀 it made my day!
Absolutely hilarious and most of all sooooo true! HaHa, I love reading about how we Germans are perceived by others, it makes me laugh but also proud. 😉 I can only agree with all the things you have observed, well, there might be slightly different things in each region (for example, I’m East German and they do love to small talk, probably has to do with growing up in GDR and being of a similar (financial) status at that time). I live in London now and have to agree with the facts that the Germans STARE a lot and are also totally unable to queue, it drives me nuts when I’m over in Germany. ;-)) well done, love your blog! X
so u love it… hm…
Lol I would have to add that we looooove feldsalat and actually cover it in a warm potato dressing, which sounds strange but is soooo delicious.enjoy it with lachs (smoked salmon) or speck (bacon) which we eat uncooked too ( smoked) and dont get me started on endivien salat. Ymmmmy. Been here four years and would give my left arm for either of those dished. “Strammer max” which is actually only smoked or cooked ham on bread covered in sunny side up egg (we love egg yolk). And of course most old school germans still eat this with a for and knife, as is pizza.
I love feldsalat….we have been growing it for our own eating since the 70’s…..YUM!!!!
I’m curious… a couple weeks ago, this guy posted a list that’s very similar to yours but with fewer items. Uh, was it a collaboration? None of my business, but it seems unlikely that it’s all a coincidence….
http://venturevillage.eu/how-to-be-german-part-1
http://store.hipstery.com/blogs/news/6877137-how-to-be-german-in-20-easy-steps-part-2
We posted our list in July and he posted his last week…no collaboration so ill leave that up to you to decide what happened! 😉
Yeah, a bit weird, heh – and it annoyed me to be honest even though Adam’s piece is humourous as well. I jumped to the conclusion it was a collaboration, at first. The first list on here went live in June, and I wrote loads of comments, annoyingly, loads of comments 😉
Just to confuse things further: Adam does contribute to überlin, but his piece on VentureVillage/The Hipstery is not a collaboration.
We always welcome comments – nice to have you back annoying us Isa! 😉
Exactly. I ‘busy-bodyily’ brought this up with Liv a few days ago because I’m aware of his contributions to your site as well. Can’t keep me mouth shut, sometimes.
German love to learn languages. They are not happy if they can speak German abroad. They want to speak their newly acquired language, even if it makes things more complicated. Much more complicated.
I would add my one main gripe since moving to this country:
Germans cannot make coffee. It’s not just that they can’t make good coffee – even mediocre, “it’s-not-great-but-it’ll-do” coffee seems to be beyond their capabilities. I know of one cafe in Berlin that does a genuinely good cappuccino. It is not run by Germans.
Out of interest, where did you move to Germany from?
Britain’s equally clueless about coffee, apart from the decent/soul-less chains and select cafés in London (mostly run by Australians!)
[…] this year we ran a little list called What I Know About Germans, by Australian writer Liv Hambrett. You may or may not remember it. After extending it to 100 […]
[…] What I Know About Germans: Now a Top 100! : uberlin. You’re very […]
I couldn’t read all the comments, but did anyone mention the presumed German fear of drinking cold drinks? I spent the whole summer in Germany and never came across a single (truly) cold Coca-Cola, water, Spezzi, etc in the whole country! The waitress at a cafe spoiled me one day by giving me a single ice cube in my Coke, but that was the only time. My German professor said she had never been served a cold glass of water in Germany in her lifetime. Something about a belief that cold water is bad for your health? Being from Phoenix, Arizona (where we drink EVERYTHING with lots and lots of ice out of necessity), I always found that hilarious. 🙂
We dont fear cold drinks, but we know
that it is easyer for your Body to handle a well temperatur drink than an ICE Cold drink, that may needed to heat up by your Body.
Also, if i ask for a drink i get a ice cube everytime (for a Coke not for a Water)
But if you need a Cold drink, ask for it and you will get as much ice you need.
hope i could help you
Plus, it’s never so hot in Germany that you’re in need of a really really cold trink 😉
Oh please.
Drinks are ALWAYS cold / out of the fridge.
You seem to have a desire for ice cubs with a bit of a drink – well, go and ask for it.
[…] people to retweet me and champion my content and that’s why I was so happy to see their post, What I Know About Germans, go viral. I would watch the FB likes and comments increase & think ‘good things do happen […]
Hell yeah, loved it! I’ve been to Bondi in swim trunks and boots…never thought about that being german or weird. But it is, definately! Hahaha, lot’s of the stuff is true and it’s not just the stereotypical shit everyone knows. Very funny!
[…] That the Germans are great at building/making stuff won’t surprise anyone who’s read What I Know About Germans, but it’s always nice to see the products of their labour. Direktorenhaus is opening its […]
As a GermanIdo agree on98% : WE DO NOT LIKE DAVID HASSELHOFF!
And we like to bend rules a bit when it is reasonable that there is no one harmed. Like waking across the street when the light is and no one is watching and there is no car. Or a little bit of speeding.
Crossing the street on a red light? The citizens of the town I live in (which curiously is also Münster – hey there, Liv!) will let you but will certainly punish you with the evil eye.
Such an amount of bullshit Clichés I havent read for a very long time.
Hey Maya, your slightly esoteric name suggests that you are the kind of person that doesn’t buy into these horrible, demeaning stereotypes and prefer to regard every human being as an individual in their own right. As a German I can only say: I laughed my head off reading the list, it’s 99% true! Most stereotypes are somewhat based on the truth – nothing to be too stuck up about in my view.
100 bullshit clichés ? Unlikely:) there´s not a trace of malice or disrespect in this text so everybody relax. you might not agree but there´s no need for going ballistic.
Excellent text! Cheers
Yep, Phil, can only agree, well, apart from number 1 (I’m a little short arse) 😉 but it is true and I’m German too and have lived there 30 years of my life. Going back home confirms most of the 100 points. 😉 it made me laugh as well.
Having been born in Australia to German parents.. I can hear my father talking work ethos. “If you are going something do it right the first time.”
I couldn’t bare to read every post but, I read quite a bit and nobody yet had mentioned their obsession with pretzels. Also with security. I am living outside of Munich right now in the country and locked myself out of the house I’m staying at last night. I could NOT break in anywhere for the life of me. I found a sleeping bag in the garage and stayed in the neighbors little trailer that the kids have been using as a fort, which is why it probably wasn’t locked. And what about hours of operation for stores–all stores outside of the city close early and are not open on Sundays. OK, I’m from the US where things are open 24 hours. Everything else is pretty accurate. I am a vegetarian as are the ones I live with but, they like the fake meat version of everything. And of course EVERYTHING is Bio, which I love. lol.
To clarify–when I was locked out it was early early in the morning like 2 am. I tried to ring the bell but, the church bell rang right after and was louder than the door bell. The dog they love so much just rumbled–barely a bark. It was hilarious….the whole thing. I used all my skills to get in to that house and the thing is on lock down. They are making me a key:)
The only 3 things missing from this list are 1) obsessions with a body’s circulation (“Mein Kreislauf”), 2) fear of moving air (“Es zieht”), and 3) no motorcycle riding without a kidney belt, as the moving air (see above) coming in contact with your lower back will kill you.
Point 85:
Has it been mentioned already that it’s a misconception that Dinner For One is a British TV show? It’s entirely produced in Germany but based on a 1920s stage play.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinner_for_One
I’m sure someone’s mentioned that… but it was written by and starring Brits, right? I still find it strange that it’s unheard of in Britain but every German has seen it!
Enjoyed this.
82 is an incomplete thought. “Germans seem to…” Seem to what?
Good spot, thank you. We’ll fix this ASAP.
The pillows!! How could you forget the pillows? D:
German girl, here. Quite a long list you’ve created, including very keen observations. Funny, too!
I must admit, the articles I was planning to disprove very passionately are the ones that differentiate the individual’s behavior from the commonly observed German behavior.
Boots. Yes, you’re right. Now I know, why my naked feet feel so lonely every summer.
Cake, sweet tooth, oh yes, yes, yes, yes. The variations of cake are driven even further by the increase of celebratory coffee culture.
The queuing is what EVERYBODY hates, it’s a lost cause. My stomach hurts as soon as I line up ANYwhere. It’s maddening.
Dinner for one and Tatort is an indication that the household where you have to endure this kind of program is rather unimaginative or the third generation who pick it up as a retro thing and label it “cool” for a reason I cannot (and will not!) fathom.
Have a great day!
Germans love punctuation. They love to place commas everywhere. The more, the better (they think). They also love to argue about it.
– A German
Extremely funny. I would add:
– They love to take lessons. Lessons to dance Salsa, language lessons, to make sushi, to make that special type of cake (it can be a 4-hours course of making black forest cake for example), and they wouldn´t say they can really do something unless they have taken lessons about it.
– There is an important group of germans without dishwasher machine who dont like to rinse the dishes after wash them with soap….
– Germans don´t seem to save much: they BUY DVDs and CDs, pay the open TV contribution… They only save (tap) water, short showers, the rinse issue, how they water the plants…
– There is a everyday bigger group that only buy bio products…better if they are fair trade certificated.
– They looove flea-markets… it is like THE Saturday or Sunday event of the day… followed by cake and coffee around 4 pm.
– Wanderung should be the national sport. The Oma wandert, kindern wandern… everyone wandern!
my goodness some things are just so true 😀 i am german but spent several months living in NZ and the US, so i kinda got some of the less nice things…..but im also getting the feeling im not fully german anymore since some things dont apply to me at all……maybe i spent too much time outta country :S……thanks anyway this is really great (and hilarious) 😉
What about talk about other people in their presence. I lived in Germany for a year and a bit and whenever I spoke English in public, I would have Germans talk about me in my presence!
what about saumagen.. Blutwurst and Currywurst. I think Curry wurst too is berliner invention.
How about the german passion about the sentence ” ick bin ein berliner”
The protests militaer dienst and the Zivies who frequent wohnheimS. Germans have’ntt heard of the word dormitory i think, or shared apartments.
The love – hate relationship with Bayern Muenchen. Some are elated when they lose others are elated when they win.
Their wanderlust and the leave they so eagerly wait for,
The bragging rights to the ones who have travelled furthest from home, particualrly in the eastern direction.
Not only is there the doener , there is the falafel as well and the halbes haenchen ! you can say just halbes!
Those second and third generation turks, Their accents and the way they mix with rest of germany.
what a counry ! You would never get lost in Germany, even if you don’t know a single word of german.
I am german and I like your text. I’ve laughed a lot.
I was CRYING just now. Tears of laughter, I might add! What a FANTASTIC post! Every single one is spot on! Oh my gosh…just truly wonderful. Thanks for the great laugh and accurate portrayal of the wonderful world of Germany. 🙂
Thank you very much. You gave me a great laugh and I love to laugh. Canadians are often trying to find our national identity. This does not seem to be a German issue. I am in LOVE with a wonderful German and his family so I could really relate to your list. Cheers, H
On the subject of the Döner (Kebab) I would like to make a slight correction. It has not “become” German it allways has been German. It is German invention, to be exact a Berliner invention. The Döner was invented in Berlin by Turkish immigrants. And in my opinion the Döner gets worse the further away you get from Berlin.
this is funny ! do you really believe this?
Döner is a kind of kebab and kebab is a well known middle-east food since many years, before turkish immigrants came to Germany..
dhb is right. there is no döner in turkey. they do have kebab but it is a different thing.
The comment about doner had to have been made by a German because it’s my understanding that all things, and I mean everything, including earth, God, and religion, were invented by, thought of by, built by, or given by, a German.
When did DB go downhill, and why is this accepted? I visited in 1980; inter-city trains were prompt as clockwork, an admirable system.
I heard, when they started to privatise it. Shame.
Yes, I became a company in the 90s. And now it’s more about capitalism and keeping its monopol by law, than about a good transport system.
It’s a shame.
I remember visiting Germany in the mid 80’s and could not understand why old people would literally run from one platform to another. Then I discovered that the trains always run on time. Try connecting to another Intercity Express train. You have 3 minutes to get from car 42 on platform 1 to car 40 on Platform 40 you RUN!!!
Having been in and out of Germany almost every two years since 1994 and been to Austria and now living in Switzerland, I guess a lot of the observations here are spot on or I’ve heard before. Having lived mostly in small towns (note small towns of 400 inhabitants or so in Hessen and Rhineland-Pfalz), occasionally lived in cities (Leverkusen, Koeln, Berlin) and occasionally visiting other places like Muenchen, Loerrach, Freiburg am Breisgau, Weil am Rhein), I experienced that Germans are more diverse than we actually admit. Especially in dialects. Maybe if I could add, based on my experience, that many Germans I know love to take a dig on those who have the Swabisch accents. And yes, DB is always not on time.
As a german, I must totally agree to all the points mentioned here. Just one thing to be mentioned, regarding #85: “Diner for One” is actually an entierly German production from the tv station NDR.
It is a German production, but of a British sketch. It’s British comedans. A producer of the NDR saw the sketch performd in the UK and asked them to perform it on German TV. Then he asked them to perform it again for the recording, we are still watching today.
i married a Deutscher and you pointed a lot of points I strongly agree with… I say this article was thoroughly written with keen details. I enjoy your blog.
Absolutly great, funny and of course many things are so true. I am a German and I recognise myself in so much points. Thanks for making me laugh again and again :)!
This is hilarious! I just visited Germany for the 1st time & definitely experienced quite a few things on this list. Great writing, too!
[…] What I Know About Germans […]
I, as a german, think that this list is rather well done, though i strongly disagree on the parts about food. I´am a Berliner and no one I know has an obsession with Spargel, Sauerkraut or Bratwurst+ I´am a perfect example for a white bread eating german.
Ice Cream anyone?!?!? I never saw in a city more Ice Cream Stands than in Germany. There is always a queue to order. And it’s cheap and good with a lot of choice! German people tend to take a break from job not to have a coffee but buy an ice cream instead.
Yes that’s true that Germans love ice cream, Italian ice cream called gelato! But am not sure if they have the most stands in their cities. Vienna has multitudes of gelato stands, and of course, Rome and Milan.
They even serve ice cream in winter in cinemas…
Speaking of taking pride in their cars, what about how Germans happily queue for hours at the car wash on Saturdays?
And the phenomenon of “Spazierengehen” on Sundays – presumably because everything is closed and there’s nothing else to do except take a bracing walk around a frozen lake before settling down for some “Kaffee & Kuchen.” In general I would say Germans are outdoorsy and in pretty good shape. Surprising considering the amount of fatty meats, beer and cake they consume.
I live in Baden-Württemburg, home of “Kehrwoche.” The planning and policing of this system is enough to make your head spin.
Ich hoffe, es stört sich niemand daran, dass ich auf Deutsch schreibe. Tolle Punkte, fast alles stimmt ;D Danke ! 😀
Just awesome and so true! Well done!
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i think i commented already on this, but i’m reading it again and it’s making me laugh so much! i told my mom (from Germany) about this and i plan to show her this list tomorrow! so funny!!!! i wish my dad were alive to read it, too. he would get a great kick out of it! thanks!
Thanks Audree, it’s nice to know you’re still getting a kick out of this and that your family will too 🙂
really funny. But we really hate david hasselhof 😀 Its just him, who thinks that he broke the berlin wall.
Theres something between Germans and NIVEA products. They can use it anytime on anything or for everything. 😉
Very true and enjoyable.
And there are few things about german attitudes thats makes me often angry, even that I’m a German too.
But because I have been a little around in the world and lived in other countrys, I’m not a typical German any more.
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really loooove the list, thank u so much, it made me laugh alot! you are right about so many things 😀 i wasnt aware of the fact that SO MANY things make us different from other countries and their mentalities.
still, i do have to mention (hey im german i need to be exact and truthfull right?? xD) that some of the facts you have added after 78) arent exactly right and a bit too superficial for my taste.
But all in all, thank you for this hilarious list, which must be REALLY helpfull for foreigners, especially when it comes to picking small talk subjects!!
Have a good life 😉
byebye
Well done, I really like the fact that you observed the Germans that well and didn’t just stick to the typical prejudices about us. This made me laugh, also here in China! Haha!
Hope to read more funny stuff like this in the future, doesn’t matter about which country. All the best wishes from South China!
Kiki
I would add “Germans are incredibly regionalistic. If you leave your town for another one down the road 30 km, you might find they have a different accent and have a different vocabulary. This is of course part of the charm of Germany, but the flip side is that Germans can be a bit xenophobic (somewhat explains the lack of desire for small talk and dislike of strangers).” Some of these observations are very Berlin centric however, and don’t apply to the Pfalz or the Saarland for example, where people speaking English is not really universal.
Thanks for this! I’d point out that the observations aren’t Berlin-centric, as they were written by someone who lived in Münster – but point taken, they don’t apply to all of Germany’s many and diverse regions.
This made me laugh. At the bottom line its so true, Big City or Rural.
I missed this one but certainly not the next…………………………..Spargelsaison
so true, funny and well observed!!
[…] “What I Know About Germans” […]
As a German having lived in Australia for 6 years I can only say: a job bloody well done 😀 Soooo true – the descriptions as well as how the Aussies perceive us. Though I have to admit I have become a bit of a hybrid between the two by now – love tab water for example 🙂
Haaa 😀
Hillarious – Nicely done!
I can certainly see most of that list – funny how you never notice it until someone else points it out.
Have never watched Tatort, ever.
– Played a bit-part in it once though.
And the drink…
… well, think of the beer as the rythm while the shots are the melody.
It’s all about pacing.
I laughed my ass off! Some things mentioned here just seem so normal being german. Like legal drinking at the age of 16, no screw off beer bottles (so you actually have to learn how to open them with whatever is in your reach) that get recycled after use, dark bread (I couldn’t seem to get a decent bread in any english speaking country I’ve been to) and all that. A really nice post!
About #78… tap water… Well… I think if water out of the tap would be sparkling water – we would love it! About 10 years ago they sold a machine with which you could make sparkling water out of the boring tap water. 😉
As a Dane who has lived in New Zealand for six months, I can definitely recognize the stereotypical NZ perception of the Germans in the above. The funny thing is though, that if a Dane were to create a similar list about our neighbours to the south, many points would be very different, as some of the above is contradicting completely with the Scandinavian stereotype of the Germans… One funny thing in particular is the one that claims that Germans allegedly speak English better than English speaking people, as the Scandinavian perception (and real life experience) is that the Germans are some of the absolutely worst English speakers in all of Europe!! This probably has to do with the fact that Scandinavians mock the dubbing-circus in Germany, and perceive it as some sort of fear of all other languages than German, and also it seems that most of the German tourists in Denmark (and there’s loads!) refuse to speak anything other than German or demonstrate extremely poor English skills in basic communication. It might also have something to do with the fact, that even the best English-speaking Germans can’t seem to hide the fact that they are in fact Germans solely because of their extremely distinct accents – an accent that Scandinavians, and Danes in particular, like to mock in every possible situation 😀
All that said, Germans are lovely people, and many of the above points fit brilliantly to Danes as well (especially the ones about drinking, queuing, nudity, sex
Thanks for the additional perspective Camilla. I’d say the Scandinavians have earned the right to poke fun at Germans’ English, because they have such AMAZING English themselves. Although the Germans have their blind spots with English, I still find it impressive that so many of them are fluent and that even the ones who are apologetic about their English are better than it than we will EVER be at German.
Thanks for the additional perspective Camilla. I’d say the Scandinavians have earned the right to poke fun at Germans’ English, because they have such AMAZING English themselves. Although the Germans have their blind spots with English, I still find it impressive that so many of them are fluent and that even the ones who are apologetic about their English are better than it than we will EVER be at German.
Sorry for the three matching comments above, is writing from my phone, and it seems like I accidentally hit the ‘post comment’ button a few times before I was actually done 😉
Kein Problem, I’ve sorted all that out 🙂
Funny what others think about us germans. Some of it was totally right. Nes
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I love that … It is so cool what people think about us Germans !!! Actually most of this things are really true !!
This is amazing and so incredibly true!!! I was only in Germany for 3 months on exchange but I recognised heaps of these traits. Toll gemacht!
😀 this is so true. I am German and I found myself in so many of this points… Great work 😉
OH MY GOSH!!! THAT was HILARIOUS!!! SO TRUE!! this explains SO MUCH about me and my family!!!! thanks!
iam not tall!
#85: Dinner For One is actually a German production (see http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinner_for_One)
Point 13 is true, as long as they go on speaking german after school. If they don´t use their school english in the year after, they simply act, as if they never learned it and maybe become those germans who want others to adapt at their language for germany´s sake!
point 13 is wrong 🙂
I´m german(I think many people who read this are ^^ ) and… I laughed very hard… for a very long time, reading this. ^_^
Not everything is true(some points are just wrong… but who knows, in the end you surely didn´t visit the whole country but only a fraction 😉 😛 ), but many things are, at least to some degree.
Very refreshing.
Point 35 is sooo incorrect. Everytime I go into town, loads of german men try to chat me up. It is so unpleasant and creepy, it makes me feel uncomfy.
thats because your made of caramel 😉
Funny…I live in germany and you must be some kind of super model or you went to very strange places. German men are definitely not like other especially south european men.
I would agree with most points, though in my experience of living in Germany, not everyone was good at English. In fact the levels were extremely varied with those who spoke very well, and those who couldn’t speak a word of it, even in the same age range. I suspect this has something to do with their schooling system which is different in every region and there is no national curriculum.
Other points I would add:
Their sense of humor is… well, it’s not that it’s nonexistant, it’s very simplistic with either slapstick, impressions of people from other countries, or toilet humour.
Speaking of other countries, Germans like their stereotypes, and can seem quite racist when talking about them without realising that it is.
They think they know everything about other cultures, even if they’ve never been there, which leads them to confusion if something doesn’t fit the stereotype.
Bavaria is not Germany, it’s Bavaria.
East Germany and solidarity tax…
In a conversation between two Germans, entire minutes can pass with one of them saying nothing but “genau” repeatedly.
…and last but not least, they always say “or?” (“oder”) at the end of a suggestion or statement they’re not sure about.
Germans like their stereotypes. All of them!!
Laughed a lot while reading the list and I guess most of it is actually true. 😉 I’ve been in Japan since last year August (soon returning to Germany) and it made me feel quite nice to read something about… “us”. Reminds me of home and why I miss Germany. 🙂 Thanks! 😀
[…] […]
My favorites are #88 an #95. It’s so true. And i definitely like it :))
I stopped at number four because not one was right yet.
Come on, I laughed so much at some of the points. Bet you also have a little bit of self-irony 😉
Germans are bringing back roller blades! peope are skating to uni on them and i’ve even seen a mother with a pram on roller blades! xx
Germans also have a form ore license for almost everything.
I am german and now I love Germany even more. It is always very amusing to see how others perceive your culture. The interesting thing is, that basically everybody seems to really like Germany. The only people who don´t…if so…are Germans 😉 However, very funny and entertaining, keep on posting that stuff!
youre so damn right.
I never meet a guy hating germans because they are germans, except ppl living in germany.
keep on posting such stuff, i love it
Hahaahha, this is hilarious and so true! I am German myself and find this incredibly amusing! (:
i love my German Boyfriend :)!
Hahaha I am german but doing an exchange year in Turkey so I was curious how other people see us and its so true. I love it 😀
the most funny thing i’ve ever read about germans 😀
and so true!
That is so funny!!! I’m German myself and had to laugh so hard, because so many points were so true. And the text was written so hilarious! Nice work
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Fucking great list. Thank you for the tips!!!! P.S. I met you two last night with Brock at the semi-final match in that cool beirgarten near Moritzplatz. Please to make your acquaintance!
Danke Morgan, Viel Spass!
Should I ever apply for work outside of Germany, I will simply enclose this list instead of a proper resumée. ^^
28) is the one I most identify with *_*
[…] then I realised I didn’t have to. Another Australian blogger has done it for me. She seems to have spent a lot of time in Münster, before moving to somewhere in Bavaria. […]
Great writing. I’ll do something with yout observations. No, really. I just need to find out what.
ES INTERESANTE LA VIDA DE LOS ALEMANES, ¿QUISIERA SABER SI SE PUEDE FILOSOFAR CON UN ALGÚN ALEMÁN? GOTTFRIED LEIBNIZ Y MARTÍN LUTERO
ME FALTO PONERLE, ES HABLAR SOBRE LA VIDA DE ESTAS PERSONAS CON ALGÚN ALEMÁN
” It is a rare German indeed who uses their full name on Facebook ”
We don’t like databases that collect every thought we made, every place we visited, every photo we made and can track it down to us.
“Knock, knock, it’s the secret police. We read that you are anti-this or pro-that. Please come with us.”
Paranoid? Well, that happened to us in history before
…twice!
I totally understand, and I’m fascinated by this difference in our cultures. In England we’re used to being watched by CCTV everywhere and having all our data sold to companies who want to market to us. But we’ve never had the surveillance state and its consequences as bad as in Germany – so we’re complacent and lazy and too unguarded. You Germans are the sensible ones!
[…] What I know about Germans […]
I laughed hard. So true!
Greetings from Osnabrück (about 60 kilometers from Münster)
Interesting comments about the Germans.Most of those seem true to me. I miss my German friends and Germany so much.
Reza
Dhaka, Bangladesh
That was very interesting. Thank you. Can hardly wait to go there again. Loved the breakfast plate.
^^ That was so fun to read. And you are right! Greetings from Muenster!
This makes me want to go back to Berlin! I miss punctuality.
Love punctuality!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEKibIYLtvY 😉
What a great list, I always like to see how people that move to Germany see us. And I have to agree on most of the things (specially that banks are never open when anyone else has time…)
[…] you want the truth about Germans, this is the list “What I know about Germanys” by the great Australian blogger Olivia Hambrett of “A big life“. For more […]
What a pathetic collection of cliches!
Klaus, wenn man mal ehrlich ist, dann stimmt das schon alles irgendwie. Natürlich ist es auch übertrieben – lustig ist es allemal!
Klaus, if you are honest to yourself, there’s some truth in all of this. Of course there’s a lot of exaggeration – but it’s still hilarious!
I have to say, the tapwater thing is something that might not only be related to the fact that we enjoy sparkling drinks, but even more to the fact that we enjoy *VERY* sparkly water – so sparkly in fact, that the supermarkets likely only added the “mild” sparkling water, so the foreigners can drink it. That’s also why the stronger sparkly water has the label “Normal”. Because most Germans will buy that one. 😛
Also, don’t drink the Water by the brand “Ja” – even for Germans, it is so carbonised that it feels like it’s eating away the lining of your throat. You can leave it open for three and it will have the amount of carbonisation you’ll find in “Normal” carbonised water.
Oh, and you will get tap water when you ask for it. In fact, the regulations for tap water springs are much more strict than those for the production of sparkly water. So yeah, our tap water is excellent. I want more drinking fountains in towns, but sadly, many people are suspicious of those things. 🙁
I was born and raised in Germany, and now live in the US: This is all so true! Funny, too, since I never thought about it! I immediately shared the list on facebook with all my American friends…LOL
You forgot to mention that Germans are still afraid of Microwaves! My parents refuse to eat anything which was microwaved…
[…] is my slightly edited repost of a post I found reposted this week. It’s an Australian expat’s view of the countrymen of good ol’ […]
78. Germans are really anxious about other people thinking they didn’t drink their tap water
<—- from Münster too.
I dont get the #2 too. Dont know what you mean by Cheese Sauce.
The only thing that upsets me all the time is that wurst and sauerkraut topic.
Yes, we like Sauerkraut, but it always sounds like we need it at least once per day.
And about the wurst… its mostly the "wurst to go" since its cheap, easy to eat while walkin, and stuffing.
BUT!!!! There is a point of living in Münster and eating Hot Dogs. Ask in Münster for Hot Dogs and i bet EVERYONE will show you the same "Hot- Dog- Station" All the people i know cant go shopping without at least havin 1 Hot Dog from that place. So i bet 10 € when the blogger spoke about Hot Dogs he had one of those in his hand 🙂
#76: We buy many small bottles because of #58: Big bottles of e.g. Coke don’t sparkle one day after opening them!
#61: It’s “Coco Jamboo”!
🙂
#80 – bio bio bio. germans will eat organic everything & swear on homeopathic “meds”….. while smoking 2 packs of american spirit (the healthy cigarette haha) every day. the irony of that completely lost on them.
#81 they are never shy at pointing out your mistakes/shortcomings/unacceptable behavior (see jay-walking example)
#82 obsessed with soccer & cars
Thanks for this!
We’ve just shared your Best of Berlin 2011/2012 posts, which we LOVE: http://www.facebook.com/Uberlinblog/posts/118321124975521
Let us know if you’d like to write something for our blog – we dig your style!
So fun to read it! Thank you! 🙂
I could find myself in about 85% of the points!
But I love flip flops!
Yes, we love sparkling drinks but you forgot about the WINE. But sometimes we even mix wine with sparkling water 😀
If you want to understand 22, you should listen to Reinhard Mey’s song “Männer im Baumarkt” (on english: guy’s at the mind-bogglingly well stocked hardware store ;)):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjiA1LCX3VM
Not everything is true.
But I guess 80% should be right 🙂
However … fun to read 😀
viele Sachen stimmen nicht… zumindest nicht für die München-Area… besonders ” fancy good boots” Teil ist bullshit….. aber vllt liegt es an den regionalunterschieden und in Berlin kann es ja anders sein… (dank dem großen Ausländeranteil, gott sein dank!)
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Loved this list! It reminds me of my family.
Thank you for your blog! I am from Russia and i am interested in Germany and Germans)) so it was very interesting for me to read this blog)) it is always interesting for me get to know new information about this nation))
Me and my friend have fan-page Typical Germanophil in our “russian facebook” . I will show your blog to members of this page! =) and i am happy, that this blog is in english, so i can translate it and practice new words, because my english suffers because of german language (i use german almost every day, and english- very seldom) With best wishes from Russia))
Cool blog. I don’t agree with Germans speaking a good English though
“…a good English” ??? You must be joking.
Cheese Sauce?! That must be a Muenster thing… No cheese sauce where I grew up in the Frankfurt area.
As a German expat in the US, I am thoroughly amused – this list is perfect and hilarious and rather true. What I don’t get is the cheese sauce (maybe you are talking about German sour cream?) and being from Hamburg, I never experienced the love for Sauerkraut around me. Definitely agree on the footwear/sock thing, there must a genetic thing though, because my 11 year old LOVES to wear socks with her Teva sandals – shudder. One should be barefoot as much as possible – in shoes though and flip flops are not shoes, they are for the pool 🙂
[…] The list currently ends at 78. There have been calls to take it to 100. The entirely unexpected response to What I Know About Germans included 27,000 likes on Facebook (IMAGINE!) mentions on the Facebook pages of Stern and Financial Times Deutschland, a write up in the Tages-Anzeiger and listings on all manner of forums. Loads of comments demanded to know why the list finished at 78 and the people making these comments put forward more things about Germans that they have noticed – things which need to be on that list. […]
Point 9: I see what you did there.
tap water at an restaurant? you can always ask for some. they’ll look at you like you’re an alien, a nutcase or maybe a terrorist or all three combined, but usually you get it. for free.
In the restaurant the waiter will look at you very queerly when you order a tap water because it is one of the three things each restaurant has to offer for free, these things being:
1) a glass of tap water
2) a toothpick
3) the book with customer complaints.
So, if you order a glass of water and insist on it being tap water, the waiter finds you are loathe to take a glass of the horribly overpriced mineral water – besides, recent analysis shows that the quality of the tap water almost everywhere in Germany exceeds the quality of so-called mineral waters by far. Go figure.
Regards,
Juergen
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love of sauerkraut may be regional?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzYdDHu52DE
Sehr interessant….
Jay-Walking: So true. When I lived in London, I was so surprised at how often someone didn´t even look at the red light before crossing the street. ^^ I barely see this happening here in Germany.
What i love for German are: they are genious,Family-oriented,and they really Love animals espicially dogs… my Husband is German, he is so soft, loving and very caring— Loves to laugh…i beleive not all Germans have common attitude… attitude may vary hows the parents raise them— my Germans mother in law is really a great person she really likes to help,to care for others…and a very loving mom— and my husband is also desame …
haha, vielleicht…
Sehr kommisch aber richige besonders 16 und 21!!
I laughed the hole time.
Iam from Germany and all points are true.
Not for alle People but for Germany as well.
Nice work ^^
But, flip flops are allowed at home for some reason. Everyone has some sort of “house shoes”. I’ve never seen so many people insist that you take off your shoes before entering the apartment. Make sure you always have decent socks on if you’re ever visiting a German!
In east Germany you have to take off your shoes before entering the apartment as well as in Sweden!
In west Germany you are often allowed to let your shoes on – but be prepared to take your shoes off!
Hi @all.
Thank you for your great Summary.^^
@ Taking shoes off
It is not easy to explain: Based on the rules of politness, it is a good thing for both of them – the host as well as the guest. The best thing to do as a guest is to pro-actively ask the host if he wishes you to take off the shoes. (Out of respect for the flat of the host)
If he reacts in a similar polite way, he will give you the choice: “You can take the shoes off, but you can also leave your shoes on, if you like to.” As a polite guest you will tell the host, that it is all right to take off the shoes. (Even if you don’t feel like it^^)
Many germans have “House shoes”, not only for themselves, but also for potential guests. Usually they will offer you some warm shoes for guests. (Most of us keep our shoes clean, so don’t expect rotten, stinking and expanded shoes like e. g. the ones for lend at Bowling- or Squash-halls)
But I agree: Wearing warm and thick socks can make your life easier when you are visitting a german person during the winter months.^^
Laughed my ass off – beeing german i have to admit almost everything is true.
Let’s face it we have three times more bakeries, than gas stations in this country!!!!
I am convinced, that we invented the “sandale-socks-fashion-habit” and have a worldwide copyright on this. Althought it seems to me that this is something for the older generation.
The gas-stations ARE bakeries.
Spot on!
I´m half German and I´ve lived 8 years of my life in Germany…and I visit this country regularly. Sure not all Germans are the same, but overall, these are great descriptions and most of them, SPOT ON!
[…]33. They are refreshingly comfortable with nudity.[…]
Yip.
http://mobfun.de/assets/pics/berlin.jpg
haha saw this on Facebook yesterday. Nice!
Very funny thank you 🙂 Also very funny how some people, felt the need to ‘correct’ your observations that they don’t agree with. Lol
My mom and her side of the family is all from Bavaria. I was born in Nuremberg. I only lived there for awhile when I was younger and spent 6 weeks studying abroad there as an undergrad. I visited almost every year growing up, though, and find most of these things hilarious. When i went back for study abroad, I found EVERYONE staring at my flip-flops. I broke a pair and asked around where to buy them and everyone was looking at me like I was nuts. They eventually told me they would only be something you’d wear at the beach or in a public shower. But it is so shocking how many of these things translate to my mom, who has lived in America for 20 years.
Such as: i am constantly being yelled at for being barefoot in the house, leaving footprints on the floor. Growing up with German magazines and newspapers my mom would find while working at the airport, I’d always giggle to find the nude woman on one of the pages and my mom didn’t bat an eye when I bought my first thong at 14. And of course, the love of dogs. My mom has 4 dogs, although none of them are Dackels. My mom frequently flies to Germany and brings one of them with her, and when she returns she complains for MONTHS how “in America, no one lets you take your dog into stores and restaurants”. I love being German 🙂
I am 2nd generation American. Both sets of grandparents being from Germany. This list is so “familiar” to me. It seems that many things are just plain inherited. Others were drilled into us by my parents who had it drilled into them by their parents. This list was a nice reminder of my up-bringing, my grandparents past and my parents..long gone. Thanks!
Being form Münster (born and raised here and living in my home town again) I have to agree with almost every item on the list. In fact, I get a good idea which cultural slice of Münster you must have experienced, observed and analyzed. A few items must be from Bavarian observations…
[…] I think they are very worth reading and after that you know how to handle a german much better What I Know About Germans : uberlin http://matadornetwork.com/abroad/how…-off-a-german/ please read and let me know what you think […]
The penchant for wearing “speedos” was noticeably absent!
Some of these things are so true and they made me laugh really hard.
To your point 54: I never thought myself as the bakery kind of guy, but when I lived in Brighton, UK for four months I was deperate to find a bakery that had bread rolls. When a friend visited me, he asked after a few days, “is there a place here where you can buy a roll”.
I read it. Though that some things are wrong. Then i realized that you talk about bavaria 🙂
57 is not true – far more British pair socks and sandals. And non of my German friends do it
What’s up with the cheese sauce? This is the only part I didn’t get. Is that a thing from Muenster?!
Other than that this just made me laugh MORE than once, because it is so true. I am German and reading all this reminded me why I sometimes laugh about Germans.
I was born and raised all the way up at the cost of the Baltic Sea, in the most northern state in Germany. Right now I am living in “exile” in Bavaria and yes, Bavarians do love public holidays. More than once I did show up for class but nobody else was there – because I can’t keep track of all these holidays, we don’t have up north.
As for the raw meat for breakfast, or dinner or whenever… As you said, with onions on top, that’s how I grew up. And down here in Bavaria it is impossible to go to German bakery and get a decent Mettbrötchen (a roll with the mentioned raw meat). And sometimes I do catch myself thinking “MAN, what would I give for a Mettbrötchen right now…
Sara, das liegt wohl daran, dass du in der Baeckerei nachfragst. Das must du beim Metzger holen, und dann heisst das in Bayern (bzw. Unterfranken, wo ich her bin) “Hackepeterbroetchen”. Ich hoffe, dass du nun erfolgreich dein “Mettbroetchen” erhaeltst.
of course you get mettbroetchen in Bavaria but not in a Bakery you have to go to a Metzger and they make you one. And at every Bierfest or Weinfest you can buy them.
^^ Haha, sehr sehr nahe dran in vielen Punkten 😉
If you like, you can watch this episode of Britain’s TV quiz show “Qi” (host: Stephen Fry) about Germany on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CldlRZ9Xew
most of the things is true but not all..:))
Haha, I laughed so hard. I’m from Bavaria, lived also in Muenster some time. Most thing I have to admit are true…
What about washing cars at Saturdays?
Greetz from Augsburg (Bavaria/Germany)
I love this just a couple things I would like to add
about 62: The name Dachshund refers to the Dackel/Dachshund being a badger hunting dog, the european badger is a burrowing animal and the Dachshund is perfect to get into the burrows.
About 72: I think there it is generational but there are many that frown at the talk of money
and you didn’t touch on the the health consciousness Bio-Laden, Bio-Brot, Bio-Beer, … bio-everything???
Thank you so much for this post!
I laughed till I cried! Its just SO true what you say!
Especially cause I live in Sydney for one year and can totally understand and comprehend you right now about what ur saying and how ur feeling!
The Ozzis are kinda different in some parts 😉
But it makes me proud being a german again and thats what I thank you for!
I hope u enjoyed it as good as u could!
Kind regards from Sydney 🙂
I’m marrying a German in two weeks, scary!!!
Congratulations!
dont let your wife see that
…why scary? They seem to be pretty laid back as long as they get their wurst and a beer.
Dear sean, i think you don`t know the germans how they`re really !
Yeah – i agree with Richard.
We are a nice people, but our shortcomings are not represented proportionally in your list. I sense a pro-German bias and a general tendency towards enthusiasm about all things German… Glad you seem to enjoy it here though! 😉
(uh, and what about our car fetish?)
Du schleimer! Es ist alles nicht so schon hier..
79 – Germans love their cars !
Abso-friggin-lutely LOVE this! 🙂
NICE!!
[…] What I Know About Germans A hilarious list for all Germans & Germany lovers (English) […]
Hahaha…this is so good. And every point is somehow truthful. Looks like sb has studied us Germans very well.
19.They are extremely hospitable.
oops, someone somewhere failed to mention that slight neo-nazi killing spree incident that went on for almost a decade and was funny enough directed towards mostly turkish immigrants and government funded.
anyone ever tell you about some guy named Thilo Sarazzin and his ability to write best selling racist literature? best selling i repeat..
just wanted to get that out there…
in Bavaria; Southern Germany a Mixture of Wheat Beer “weissbier” and Cocacola is called a “Neger” the N-word in german. and yes thats it official name in Bars on Menus. No seriously, ask any bavarian.
“Neger” in German is not equal to the N-Word in English. It is usually not insulting (if so just because of the similarity to the English word). In fact, it is just a more old-fashioned term for black person.
OMG… exaggerating much? There is racism in EVERY country. that doesnt mean it should be put “out there” everytime someone mentions Germany. I am so soooo tired of having to hear this STILL!!!
There are far worse countries, and as i said I have heard people badmouthing and killing other cultures in EVERY country I have been too, and thats been a few.
If you say we must mention this, why not mention that Germany also (unlike most other countries) has a very social system towards “foreigners”. Why not say, that in Germany pretty much every person that doesnt have enough money or a job, gets at least $400 a month to live PLUS the money for rent and other perks, paid by the government (paid by the ppl working)??!! Why not say that MOST immigrants in Germany are in fact from turkey and sad but true, on unemployment (im not saying all – just most). why dont you mention this, or how come, if Germany was such a horrible and hateful place to live, do they have so many foreign ppl living there… hmmmmm.
No, it is not the official name. It is called “Cola-Weizen” (http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biermischgetr%C3%A4nk). Who knows in what kind of bars they call it Neger… You probably know?!
Will you ever let up, Batura? Neither will I, so it would seem 😉 The kind lady writer may well be mixing with the somewhat ‘higher echelons’ of society…don’t fault her for that. Life isn’t fair….wherever you go.
“Neger” is more like the English word “negro”, not “nigger”.
Have you actually ever read the book of Sarazzin or are you just paraphrasing what have been in the news? Looks like the later fact …
Most of the german people reject the meaning of Thilo Sarazzin! It was a big outrage when the book came in stores.
Did you read the book? Or did you only read/see the perception in the media about it?
On the nourishing factor of beer: “Sieben Bier sind eine Mahlzeit, aber da hat man ja noch nichts getrunken.” Beer us like bread. And if you drink seven, that will equal one meal. But hey, then yoi haven’t drunk anything yet 😉
These are good stereotypes and I’m relieved. No small talk? AWESOME. Yet somehow I’ve only have come in contact with their less charming qualities, like being wimpy men to date.
Travel Guide for Poor, Hip Students: 5 German Stereotypes Confirmed
http://lilfelrockstheworld.blogspot.com/2012/05/5-german-stereotypes-confirmed.html
As an American woman, one of the things I miss the most from my Berlin years — to my own surprise — is the coed sauna at the gym! You got there by walking through an area marked “clothing-free zone”. 🙂
Very funny, love it.
I am German, lived for most of my live out of the country though.
Most of the comments are ever so true, however as some other posters mentioned, she had some problems with sepearting the North and the South of the country. Also what supprised me she didnt mention the Leatherhose ones. LOL
To 65.. I’m working for the german government. And when it looks like doing nothing, we in fact think about how to get rid off stamping and photcopying… 🙂
My favs are
1-They are the only country with Walmart stores that banned the
friendly store “greeter’ when you walk in. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.
2-If they drive their car through the puddle of water, they’ll pull over and wipe it down. Even if they risk being late.
3-Don’t get stuck in an elevator with more than 3 or 4 Germans, unless you you’ve got a lot of cologne on.
4-Best beer brewers in the world -but yet they secretly love Budweiser, the American brew. Although, most Germans would tell you publicly it is akin to dishwater.
5-Milla Vanilli is to pop what David H is to TV. They think their Grammy was unfairly revoked.
Are you certain it’s the American Budweiser, and not the original Budweiser from Budweis, Czech Republic? That would seem more likely to me.
As Frank said, we like Budweiser. The original from teh czech town Budweis:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%8Cesk%C3%A9_Bud%C4%9Bjovice
After all, the Czech came up with the idea of the beer type called Pilsner.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilsner
And we are eternally grateful.
I love Number 56 – so true. I hate it when people talk and talk and don’t come to the point.
Oh and i love Bread and Wurst. And How I met your mother. Damn.
Point 55 is totally wrong, you have to visit the Ruhrpott area
26. germans are always prepared for rain. if you live in münster, as the author did, you have to be prepared for rain – in munster, it’s raining or the bells are ringing. if it is raining and the bells are ringing, it is sunday. riding your bike while using an umbrella comes along with this saying.
So True ! I love this Article ! This is So much to know about Germans !
Regards
Laughed my ass off ^^ And I am German. There are some points that are not true because the author might not have had the insight that a native German has. Personally I drink a lot of tap-water because Germany has the cleanest in Europe.
I don’t know what this chick is smoking, I lived in Muenster for a year. It cannot compare to cities like: Muenchen, Berlin or Stuttgart.
She must have never visited the Hauptbahnhof there and if she did, somehow she missed all the homeless people outside and inside the station. If your go around the back of the station you get the bonus of that pungent urine smell, it’s an eyeopener in the morning…. Worst moment for me at the Hauptbahnhof in Muenster, some homeless guy with white stuff around his mouth trying to hustle me into buying a ticket from him…Oh and they didn’t have an elevator for people in wheelchairs when I was there, I guess didn’t want “those” kind of people there to ruin their “pristine” town. It took some 70 year old man to die falling down the stairs to make them finally install an elevator..
The “Ring” that goes around the town is great for jogging around and riding your bike, a female student in my class jogged around “the ring” every morning until some guy exposed himself to her.
The town goes all out for Weinachten and the Christmas Market is really nice. Enjoying a cup of Gluehwein with a friend, one of these “well-dressed” and “well-mannered” Muenstervolk was jumping around and his friend pushed him and the guy stumbled and almost knocked me down, almost spilling the hot wine on my wool coat. He didn’t apologize, only barked something unintelligible and his friends laughed.
I think the people don’t care for Auswanderers there, I chose to study in Muenster because I read “it’s a great place to improve your German skills, the people are so patient and helpful.” Ha! Did this lady write other posts about this town, too, maybe people are getting paid to say this, but I have had a much better response here in Bavaria with working to improve my language skills. I enrolled at a language school there, as well, and the teacher “a German”, insulted the Peruvian girl in my class on a regular basis. His humour included a joke about how the only things worth visiting Peru for are “drugs and llamas.” I quit the class after the 3 weeks…
No one is perfect, and trust me, Muenster is not “heaven on earth.” So whatever brownie points she earned from her friends and colleagues, I hope it was worth it. From my own personal experience, don’t believe the hype…
Oh dear, oh dear. The list isn’t intended as an extensive sociological study!
Wow, so 7 bad experiences in Germany make for a blanket, judgemental statement? I think your comment could have read: “I’m super finicky and very negative about everything in life, I also like to nit pick and point out exceptional situations which do not happen on a regular basis. I generally have a ridiculously negative outlook on life, and reading my comment will not give you any real insight into German life as a whole…so, here’s my comment: Germany Bad, Ich gut.” People like you who focus on the negative belong in a different country, maybe you should have figured that out before travelling to Germany….
Very nice and very true! Though there are some differences between Münsteraner and other Germans. I’m Bavarian and lived in Münster for a year, so I can see some points, (like the bikes), very typical for Münster, but not necessarily for other parts of Germany. The “nakedness” is particularly common in Southern Bavaria(Munich, more than in Northern parts of the country. Altogether it’s a very nice and kind list! Thanks for the laugh! 🙂
I had to laugh so much about this, I am a German living in the UK for 10 years and most of this is so true but I always loved to run around barefoot 🙂
I loved it. I’m originally from Münster as well, but most of the stuff applies to the rest of Germany as well. Only one thing: we just eat raw meat with onions for second breakfast (and sometimes we make a hedgehog out of it for parties…:-)).
Hätte ich gar nicht besser sagen können. And I am only German by blood, not by citizenship. 🙂
Hi, I am german and I find this to be VERY endearing 🙂
I think I can speak for many german people when I say it is really, really heart warming to read something so overly nice about Germany. I am glad you made such good memories here!
Also a little fun fact: americans and east europeans eat JUST AS MUCH Sauerkraut as germans. Who would’ve thought, huh? ;D
Great! I am still laughing.
One thing is left, Beer is no alcohol, it is basic food.
A German
everyone’s read this as well, ja http://matadornetwork.com/abroad/how-to-piss-off-a-german/
Hey, your list is great!!
The only thing you might have forgotten, which I think dominates our love for Sauerkraut is the undieing love for white “Spargel” – asparagus :). I think Germans have an obsession.. as soon as this vegetable leaves the little earth mounds in spring, there is no holding back 🙂
Im glad Germany treated you well!
I’m surprised that the list doesn’t mention the German habit of always checking if there’s a draft, even in the middle of summer. You might get a cold if you sit down in the wrong place. 🙂
Except “Germans simply do not understand thongs/flip flops/jandals as viable footwear. Even when it’s warm and sunny. And a boot is impractical, or too warm for the feet to be comfortable. They will stare, bewildered, at thonged feet and quietly wonder if the wearer is mad.” everything is sooo correct and funny. You forgot to mention that we like to travel a lot. (I think we’re the number 1 work&travelers in Australia!)
i’m laughing so hard right now. as an italian i agree in all points. especially love no. 64
Ran over here to check out the post after catching Liv’s excitement on appearing here over on her blog. Very cool list. Yay Liv, yay Uberlin
I like Sauerkraut once in a while, but never am prepared for rain. Didn’t own an umbrella for years. Seems to be raining less, since. Nor do I own a watch. I still try to be on time, though.
Thanks for your kind words about our species… 😉
Rain? I call it “high humidity”.
It’s a specialty from Muenster.
We are also chronically incapable of short-handing, be it texts, skype, anything. You either spell it properly, or you have to face inevitable ridicule and judgemental comments. . .
Am German, do approve most of the points. Thank you for sugar-coating the dacing-thing. However, I know about noone who really enjoys Sauerkraut.
I’d like to add:
1. “Germans love lists (numbered or bulleted)” especially the lists about how they are seen by others.
2. “Germans are serious. They will always reply as serious and precise as possible. Be aware of this when you think about slipping in a joke during a conversation with a German”
Love #1! A bit of ‘ego-stroking’ goes one hell of a long way….
Marlies
I am not so sure as to your refernce to #1, but to #2 I can only say, that is not really true when you are from Cologne. Most are always ready for a nice small talk (or gossip) At least the locals are. But as most, I did like the whole list about the Germans.
In addition:
1. Bayern Muenchen are the Dallas Cowboys of German football, if you’re a fan of football, you either love them or hate them, either way you definitely have an opinion about them.
2. Either believe Bavaria is part of Germany, or, believe Bavaria is (or should be) independent.
3. Are very confused about the use of prepositions and gerunds/present participles. i.e. “We were going clubbing at the weekend” ;D
4. Understand and organize against Right wing extremists unlike their “laissez-faire” counterparts in Austria.
5. Can tell which state/country any other German speaker comes from by their dialect 😀
6. Can only drink 57 shots (see #38) because each shot is a strict 2cl even though it costs the same as a 4cl Call or a doubleshot 8cl well in the states. So 57 shots to an american would be 14.25 well doubleshots, or 28.5 call shots. Still pretty impressive, and probably not grossly over exaggerated 🙂
7. Call a Frankfurter a Wiener (while Austrian’s call a Wiener a Frankfurter). Thus the mass confusion in the States. And to emphasize the author’s point even more, absolutely love their sausage!
8. Know more about American politics than more than half of Americans.
9 Know more about American politics than almost any American knows about (current) German politics.
10. Sadly believe that socks, sandals, shorts and a fanny pack make them inconspicuous when travelling anywhere in the rest of the world.
11. Believe that laws were made to be followed, unless they own a BMW, because then, there are special traffic rules made secretly and specifically for them.
12. In addition only German driving rules really matter, and, that only when one is actually in Germany. And once you are free of them, you make your own.
13. Are generally shocked to hear/read about violent crimes in their city.
14. Can be extremely funny once one understands the language, sadly their (very) generally poor command of English prepositions and participles coupled with their penchant for being very direct often comes off as harsh and dry in English.
15. Are a lot like the company BASF, they don’t make a lot of the products you buy, they make a lot of products you buy… better.
16. Would love to meet George Bush/Republican supporters so they can ridicule them and vent (this is still true, and will most likely remain true for the foreseeable future).
17. Every German 14 or older knows all of the words to at least one German Folk Song, Shlager song or Beer Hall Song, or any combination of them.
Hahah. So, are you a German writing about yourself? Boohoo. That’s awfully biased 😉 and unfair to say the very least….
No, I’m an ex-pat from Texas who has lived and worked in both Austria and Germany for the past 10 years with people of all ages and from all walks of life. I love both countries, and am glad I shook the prejudices about Germans/Austrians that I had before moving.
Very very good observation. We laughed our asses off here! There were so many points were I thought: “This is SO true” but I never realized it was that way and especially not that funny.
The points 30 & 65 are extremely true and I had to wipe tears out of my eyes when I read it! 😀
Liv, could you be Germany’s answer to Dara O’Brian (infamous Brit-icker) or Bill Bryson (Brit-wanna-be). I bet you don’t just have a list…. Would love to read some anecdotes. I wouldn’t pen you as a Germ-licker, though ;)…..
I`m absolutely stoked about your list and it really made me laugh. I ´m from that area myself but I also lived in Australia, so I can understand your point of view too well. By now I like wearing tongs and enjoying walking bare feet( thanks to Oz).Before, I couldn´t.. And yes its true in Germany you dont enter a supermarket in jogging pants. And I learned something new, I think its true that we are not keen of small talk because of our language 🙂 But still its nice to see how we can learn from each other xD Cheers!
Thanks for this hilarious posting! I lived in Münster for two years and you forgot one thing: Germans have Komissar Frank Thiel and Professor Karl-Friedrich Boerne! 🙂
Hahaha, so very true 🙂 You did a really good job in portraying us Germans… especially the bratwurst-stand in front of hardware-stores cracked me up!
Although you must consider the region you’re in. Muensteranians really don’t do small talk or walk with jogging pants into the supermarket. If you drive a few miles southwards into the “Ruhrgebiet” (Dortmund, Recklinghausen, Bochum etc), you’ll find people with addidas-joggingpants and flipflops talking to one another (in front of a Bratwurst-stand) 😉
Interesting list to read as a German. The only thing I can add is that Muenster is a very particular city in that it only has little industry but lots of students and desk jobs. This makes for a very charming and intellectual society. On top of that, Muenster is in the centre of Westphalia whose population is not necessarily considered outgoing or known for exuberant emotions but very down to earth and serious. The image of Germans might look far better or worse, at least different, in other regions of the country.
I just received this URL after posting La Bouche’s Be My Lover Song on Facebook… with a snide remark about Rule No. 27.
I thus, for the entire humanity, deem this rule confirmed. :D:D
do you know some Germans?? I don´t think so..
she knows loads about us that´s for sure and if you don´t agree, you don´t know germans very well! And if you are german (you don´t seem to be) you´re problably one of those in article 65 😉
truthfully she does’t know germans half as well as she would like us all to believe;
1. The whole post was based on local behaviour in Muenster; Muenster? really? less then 300000 inhabitants from a country of over 83 million; its like writing a post about american behaviour based on people living in Summit county in Ohio (no offense to Ohio).
2. Secondly;there is a wwhhhhoollleeeee lot of sugar coating going on here, its understandable but nonetheless makes for a very biased post.
3. Its quite possible that the reception she enjoyed from the germans so friendly as it was, was influenced by the fact that she is Australian i.e. presumably Caucasian (please correct me if this presumption is wrong) anyone/everyone knows how germans react to foriegners i.e. Auslanders spelt people-of-different-colour/origin. please get your facts straight; don’t get me wrong its not all bad in germany and not all germans are conservative, just the majority of them.
So, f’n what if it’s sugar-coated? It’s HER perspective. Maybe the list could be entitled: ‘What I know about Germans, particularly Münsteraner’..but so what, if it’s not. Get that chip off your shoulder 😉
This beautiful comment springs to mind, unbelievable! “Letztendlich ist es ja wie mit allen Ausländern: Was hier hockt ist halt nicht grad die Créme de la Créme. Freiwillig verlässt schliesslich niemand die Heimat.”
http://www.tagesanzeiger.ch/leben/gesellschaft/Was-Sie-ueber-Deutsche-wissen-muessen/story/22005001
As an ‘Auslanderin’ myself, I’ve had both bad and good experiences – have lived in several different parts of Germany, and speak German with a dreaded accent – ooo, heaven forbid. I’ve have good and bad experiences no matter where I’ve lived. Maybe she is licking arse, so what.
I’m sorry Bature, but thats not genuine truth. In big citys like Hambug, Berlin and even Munich you have schoolclasses with one to three or even no german native speakers. There you can observe a very high percentage of foreigners from Turkey, Russia and many Arabic countries. Living peacefully together with “ze Germennnnss” 😉
So how come you think the majority in Germany is conservative regarding this point? Of course they are – on the countryside. I think it’s the same all over the world:
Ask some fly-by-farmer in Montana what he thinks about black people. Or some bible-belt senator what he thinks of Darwin. Or any Australian Outback-Trucker what he thinks about gay people. Or any American judge if black people are equal with white people when it comes to court…
You forgot to mention that we love to be shaven all over – both women and men!
That’s not true on my behalf… 🙂
Hey, finally somebody says the truth!
Yes we are hospitable!!!
I am german living in spain, and I hear so often, that we are unfriendly and closed.
But I think a lot of people can not differentiate between, seeing no sense in having small talk, and being unfriendly.
Asking every day somebody how he feels, and not really caring about it, I don’t get it!
And I miss a good breakfast so badly here in spain!!!
You can order Wurst from the internet 🙂
Yes, you can, in London, and a nice German mans comes to deliver them in carefully packed boxes with frozen gel packs, to make sure they don’t go off before you get home. In fact, in my half-German, half-Australian way, I’m off to order some now!
Nice post. Obviously, we Germans have a better image than I thought 😀
Germans love football!
Fussball!!!
I´m german as well and the majority of that stuff is indeed soooo true. Especially the dancing-behavior in clubs^^
Magnificent and its really true! Says a real German like me .
Wow! Many correct observations, but you are obviously having a much better experience in Germany than all of the other expats I have met. How about the jeering at any woman who does not resemble Heidi Klum? Nosy neighbors? And the bicyclists in Hamburg are out to kill pedestrians on the sidewalk – little old ladies, toddlers, people with dogs…
Everything is so true! I go especially for article 65.
Great post. So much fun stuff about germans. I wonder how they manage to invent cars 😉
Also, they dig asian girls.
You made my day 😉 a funny list and really true… but please don’t mention David Hasselhoff. But i miss the love regarding cars. Some like their cars more than their own children.
[…] What I Know About Germans – So, from an Australian expat’s point of view: What I Know About Germans. /via dem Ix sein Pinboard, glaube ich […]
How can you not like Hasselhoff after his great performance in the Spongebob movie? 😀
(And he destroyed the berlin wall xD)
i am german and most oft it is so true! the dachshund looking like a wurst… i told my parents one time the perfekt name for such a dog is wursti. and i LOVE raw meet on breakfast!
I am a German and I feel guilty in almost every point. You seem to have a nice ability to discribe particular behaviour.
You definitely had a different view to bank opening times (or post office, or any shop other than supermarket) when you were British. I’m in the UK and the only time you can go to the bank or post office is on a Saturday morning — the only time for every working people. So you spend all Saturday morning queuing … 🙁
I miss the German efficiency, starting with simple things as this…
Trouble is… German banks are not open on Saturday mornings…
Uh, Sparkasse in MS-Arkaden is!
“They have the single most nerve-inducingly rapid supermarket check-outs in the world.”
extreme-lidling is going to be a demo event at the upcoming london olympics. germans have lobbied, strong armed and tittytwisted the prerequisite bodies long and hard for that to happen.
Rod
The same goes for Austria! But in the UK the tills are far more numerous, and the cashier has time for small talk too. A real rush, and DARE you to hold up the queue!
This has to be meant sarcastic, right?
LOL.
Otherwise I could just say: Wrong!
🙂
I’m half German, born and raised in Africa, moved and studied engineering in south Germany; you forgot to mention how unfriendly Germans are to “strangers” in white collar jobs. “strangers” as in “not from around these parts” or “speaks with a different German accent”. Don’t believe? Ask the eastern Germans how they are treated in the west in white collar job environments. Mostly its seen that only certain sorts of people should be allowed to work at such white collar offices no matter what sort of qualifications or skills they possess.
Very nice, very true. But you forgot about out Nutella-Brot. How can any German start his day, without a Nutella-Brot? And you dont eat it. You – verdrückst it… 😀 😀 😀
Germans DO leer… a LOT. Particularly the older ones.
I’m half German, born and raised in Africa, moved and studied engineering in south Germany; you forgot to mention how unfriendly Germans are to “strangers” in white collar jobs. “strangers” as in “not from around these parts” or “speaks with a different German accent”. Don’t believe? Ask the eastern Germans how they are treated in the west in white collar job environments. Mostly its seen that only certain sorts of people should be allowed to work at such white collar offices no matter what sort of qualifications or skills they possess
Ten months of winter? I’m wearing sandals and T-Shirts all year through and a leather jacket in january.
Just because you are used to the chill. I’m wearing my leather jacket all the year. And no, I didn’t mean my motorcycle jacket.
To point 65:
We ARE working. Pretty hard. But not in the offices where people can see. That’s a kind of fulfilling the prejudices.
If anybody could see us work than the world will end immediately. And so we are keeping our work carefully as a secret and cover it with a LOT amount of coffee we are bathing in.
Please forget that I told you ever this, otherwise unfortunately I have to shoot you in order to save the world.
😉
If you think the Germans are obsessed with dairy, go visit the Netherlands.
Käsefresser, you mean 😉
Except for Käsesauce it seems pretty legit. Great read!
Well, I always wonder how Australiens manage their lives standing upside down all the time………….U guess right, I´m one of the Bratwurstlovers…….
are you applying for a german visa or what? ôO
No one’s listening, Bob. Post it on an Australian site.
So true, except for the Sauerkraut thing.
[…] From Überlin it began buzzing on Facebook (10,000 likes at this point in time … I mean what?) and Twitter. Social media ferried it onto Reddit. And then onto Tages-Anzeiger online, a Swiss national paper with one of the country’s largest readerships. Comments have come pouring in – most resoundingly positive and largely from very happy Germans (phew). I am getting absolutely lovely emails and tweets from perfect strangers (don’t stop, they make my day). One reader even made a response post – things you need to know about Australians (and he was bang on, we do drink as much tea as the British, even when it’s boiling outside and we do NOT drink Fosters beer). And the guys at Überlin and I are looking at the wonderful raucous these 78 points have caused with complete bewilderment. There is noise being made for the list to reach 100 – watch this space, I may need your help with making this happen. […]
The only reason germans talk about David Hasselhoff is to make fun of him. Trust me, im a german. Nonetheless, good job!
This is NOT true. Whenever I make fun of the Hoff with my (female) German friends, I am immediately scolded. `Poor David’, they say. `What did he ever do to you?’
Dafuq? We love The Hasselhoff.
Deal with it.
I can verify this. The reason for that is mainly because (urban myth?) Hasselhoff thinks he united Germany 1989 with “looking for freedom”.. which is… wrong…so wrong…but funny.
Ha ha ha ha I live in Bonn and I have to say that 95% of this is applicable! HILARIOUS!
Yes, yes. Nearly every single point is right – so funny! But I don’t know what it is about you (any other country) and David Haselhoff… I’ve never met a single german who likes David Haselhoff or Looking for Freedom. But I’ve met hundreds who are making FUN of it (our kind of humour?)… so no, no David Haselhoff. No no. But everything else: yes, oh yes!
Here is a German who loves David Hasselhoff!!! Remember : “Don’t Hassel the Hoff!!!” 😉
Käsesauce? Wer isst den hier Käsesauce?
But I love all other points.
sorry this reply went into the wrong contribution below:
I think “cheese sauce” is not really meant to contain cheese but yogourt, cream or quark, right? From our well-beloved “Kräuterbutter” to the various white “dips” at BBQs up to “Rahmgeschnetzeltes” which I detest, while I do love wurst and sauerkraut, of course together.
Well done list 🙂
But personally, i never noticed “Dachshunds” to be particularly popular and people eating “Sauerkraut” all the time isn’t true for where i live either (north Germany).
In general there is soooo much variation throughout germany concerning customs/habits…just take “Lederhosen” for example, everyone outside Bavaria thinks they are hilarious and totally weird but the whole world thinks every german has one in their wardrobe 😉
Oh no! Even in northern Bavaria we would never, never, never wear Lederhosen – because it’s the habit of southern Bavaria. Only southern Bavaria.
I think “cheese sauce” is not really meant to contain chesse but yogourt, cream or quark, right? From our well-beloved “Kräuterbutter” to the various white “dips” at BBQs up to “Rahmgeschnetzeltes” which I detest, while I do love wurst and sauerkraut, of course together.
So funny. I am German and I totally agree with every single point 🙂 Thanks 🙂
BUT:
You definately haven’t been to the right clubs in Münster. 90’s Pop – no way, there’s better stuff!
Sooo true! In most parts at least. I might have spotted a few vegetarians around here.
And I like the bike parts – but I’m from Muenster myself…
Hilarious! Laughing hard in front of the computer in the office means: excellent read!
oh i totally forgot! If you see someone is copy something, you say:
“Yo bro! Are you guttenbergen??” That’s because of that Politic Guy Guttenberger.
*being a grammarnazi here*
actually it’s “Guttenberg”
I love it 😀 I am from Berlin and you’re mostly right with everything. Gonna eat a Bratwurst now. And it’s 8 am >D bahaha (just kidding, there is no Bratwurst here ;_;) But i will eat a Schrippe now with Wurst haha xD Anyways. This Blog Post was hilarious. Really enjoyed it 🙂
To Point 60 “They can stomach raw meat for breakfast … topped with onion.” It’s also a kind of art! So have a look at the “Met Igel” (raw meat hedgehog) http://kaeseabend.com/wp-content/gallery/mettigel/mettigel05.jpg
Just look at the domain name – containing cheese!
But this is typical for the wild west of Germany… 😉 … not for the rest…
To Point 60 “They can stomach raw meat for breakfast … topped with onion.” It’s also a kind of art! So have a look at the “Met Igel” (raw meat hedgehog) http://kaeseabend.com/wp-content/gallery/mettigel/mettigel05.jpg
😉
As a half-German and half-Korean, I have lived in many countries around the world and have met people from very different cultures. This list made my day, since I have made very similar observations. It has been a serious culture shock when I returned to Germany for college after 8 years abroad.
Another thing I noticed; they/we love the phrase “aus Prinzip”. I always smile when I hear phrases like “schon as Prinzip mache ich das (nicht)”. 2 months ago I was standing in line in the local super market and heard the advertisement thorught the speakers “[…] und schon aus Prinzip muessen Sie nicht mehr bezahlen!”. I laughed and said “This is so German/Das ist sowas von deutsch”. Everyone in the line, including the cashier looked at me with a puzzled expression, until I noticed that in fact, they were demanding an explanation of why I said that.
Germans have huge respect for Australians: it must be hard to live so far away on an island.
i’ve never ever seen any better description about germans, especially from münster.
this is absolutly true!
😀 😀 God, i just love this list. Im German and its really, really funny to read about all our peculiarities this ironic way. This list is a great Job, really a great job! 🙂
The last point is particularly interesting for me, coming from an Australian, because I, as well, was very wary of tap water all my life, although it’s probably one of the best and purest waters in the world. Sometimes even better than bottled water (although Germans LOVE their Mineralwasser). Ironically, my aunt who migrated to Australia in the early 80s, taught me to drink tap water (and like it) a few years back when she came to visit and since then I’m drinking nearly nothing else.
Oh, I like drinking tap water too – it’s better controlled than some kind of mineral water, it’s less expensive and – typical german – you don’t have to recycle the bottles…
So it’s funny for me, if people say, the would never, never drink tap water – and after that they use it for preparing coffee, tea oder for cleaning their teeth… 🙂
As a german i can agree to most points, but me and a lot of my friends are wearing short clothes very often.
Also I am born and living in Münster =)
Awesome list!
As a German who has been part of a student’s exchange with the USA, I feel like that is what the Americans thought all the time when they were here!
#62 made me laugh, because when first people in America asked me about “Dachshunds”, I had no idea what they were talking about and it’s kinda funny they use a German word that not even we use 😀
Concerning #21: During my time in America I got the impression that, when the weather got colder, people started wearing longer shirts and pants that kept them warm, but still stuck to flip flops and naked feet, so yeah, I can understand their bewilderment when it comes to our preference of boots 😉
I think another point is that we often excuse for our “oh so bad” English, even if it’s in fact quite acceptable, while the Americans just started saying the German phrases they thought to be alright without any hesitation or doubt – even if they made lots of mistakes. It seems like we are not very self-confident about our language skills 😛
And if you look at the length of my comment, it is certainly also proof for the fact that we like to explain things in great detail 😉
Anyway, thanks for sharing your findings and thoughts 🙂
I hate this list because some things exaggerated (dackels, sauerkraut – don’t confuse it with other krauts like weisskraut btw) and it is INCOMPLETE! And beer is not mentioned enough! Was döner mentioned at all?
I am going to lodge a claim that you may complete the list!
😉
It’s meant to be exaggerated….. exaggeration superimposes the ‘comic element’. A bit like Dara O’Briain’s ‘Tickling the English’. A lot of the ‘observations’ are endearing, that’s why you like it so much!
I just stumbled over this list and was lmao ’cause it’s so beautifully written. And nearly all articles hit the point and give an insight view from an outsider. Literally spoken.
…AND the German is always aware of what the rest of the World thinks about him. 😀
For me as a German it was really fun to read… I guess most facts are totally true… and I don’t want to criticise your honest opinion and experience about us! 😀
Thank you for the refreshing view “from outside”! 😀
Thank you so much! I just laughed so hard I was crying, and my wife had to laugh just watching me read this. Can’t remember when that happened the last time. Must’ve been Douglas Adams. I love your elaborate language and the positive attitude you project throughout. This one stands out from all the crappy and negative lists you come across. I had so much fun, really. Thanks!
Oh man I enjoyed myself so much while reading this. And I thought to myself “Oh this is so true!” most of the time I read this out loud and laughing. Thank you for posting your observatons about us Germans here, you made my day.
This was so much fun reading, and all.so.true. even though most of my family lives down under, I as a German had quite a good laugh.
Maybe you should let somebody explain the concept of “Vorfreude” to you, then 71. and 74. are easier to understand. Love Dachshunds!
Aaaaaaaahahahahaha, made my day (in Hamburg). 🙂
Love the list. I’d say half of it is true (Though there’s a shocking absence of beer in the list. Yes beer is mentioned, but not enough! There’s always room for one more beer!)
But other items seem to come from stereotypes I’ve never seen (en masse that is) in real life.
Sure, Germans have dogs. But I cannot notice any favouritism towards one particular breed.
And Sauerkraut, really? Unless you’re in the southern states I never see people eat it.
And “not jay-walking” is also a dying trait. I do it at least twice a day because the traffic lights are completely unhelpful for pedestrians. And I’m not the only one. Though I will say that I at least check that there are no children nearby or else I do wait.
As for coco jumbo: Are you implying that 90’s Euro Dance music is NOT the pinnacle of music evolution?!? *g*
short time i have spent in muenster, i recognise these german traits lol, especially the super fast check out girls!
About “being prepared for rain”: I think this is especially true for Münster. There is a saying: “In Münster regnet es oder es läuten die Glocken, und wenn beides gleichzeitig passiert ist Sonntag.” Which translates to: “In Münster it rains or the bells chime and if both happens at the same time it is Sunday.”
Oh and about the small talk. A British woman once told me: “Never ask a German how he is (e.g. “How are you?”), because he will tell you!” So remember, if you are not prepared to hear the protocol of a physical including, but not limited to the texture of the morning stool, just say “Hi”, “Hey” or “Hello” or simply nod, but never say “How are you?” to a German. 😉
You made my day! So… real! 😀
For me as a German this article is extremely funny! I nearly fall of my chair. I cannot agree with everything that is written down here, but this maybe has something to do with my point of view.
Germans. Love. Bakeries! I couldn’t agree more. I was once in Hamburg and after hard night partying, my local friends and I still went to a bakery on our way home… at 6 AM.
The good ones (I mean real bakeries, not the ones with e.g. frozen things) open at 5 am 😉
Nice post indeed, rather entertaining 🙂
One thing though, and I have to confess not to have read all comments since there were more than 140, I’m a German living in England and I’m being centre of attention a lot of times for my breakfast habit of having cereals with orange juice…
A short survey among my English friends found that this appears particularly “weird” about me, however, other Germans do, in fact, the same!
Great list!
Maybe add eating cereal with orange juice instead of milk too
And diluting orange juice too 😀
Always found that funny, Germies diluting their cheap ‘Multivitamin Juice’ from Aldi. Why do some peeps do this? It’s not concentrate.
I’m currently raging over the fact that anybody dares to find it bizarre to drink tap water. It’s not like bottled water doesn’t come from some industrial taps as well, and getting it directly from the tap prevents so much plastic garbage.
I’m German by the way, and I’m sure that this comment illustrates somehow another fact about Germans .
It sure does. Very funny, N.
This list describes Germans from the northern part of Germany. The cultural differences between the North and South (including Austria) of Germany are as big as between Germans and non-Germans. More than half of what you are saying does not apply in Bavaria, for example.
this is really funny, because Germans really do not wear short clothing at all. When Americans tend to go for shorts and flip flops a little too early (60 degrees is not warm enough for shorts and a tshirt!), Germans stick to their parkas a little too long 😀
I loved this list. Having lived in both Germany and the US for a long time, I can see German culture as an Insider and Outsider and a lot of the things I experienced are on this list.
what I never understand is why us Germans are believed to eat “Sauerkraut” at every possible occasion. Personally I eat it maybe once a year, when I eat out in the restaurants of Hamburg I never see anyone eating it, so all those “krauts” must live in the south, Bavaria or Baden-Würtemberg! I bet people in Poland, Hungary, the czech republic etc., are the serious sauerkraut eaters !
We southerners do NOT eat that much Sauerkraut. Once a year is more than enough. The most Sauerkraut I ever ate was in the US when people were soooo delighted to be able to offer me German food: Sauerkraut and Knockwurst. YUCK YUCK YUCK.
It’s just one of those silly stereotypes, isn’t it Germans always get it in the neck because they’re more ‘familiar’ than Hungarians, for example.
I (as a german) wonder, that beer is not stated that high…
I would at right above worshipping wurst worshipping beer
Also what I’m not seeing somewhere else is the high amount of different beer and bread flavours.
absolutly right. germany got the most bread types in the world and the highest density of breweries (round 1300)
I don’t drink beer and I’m from Munich. It seems the tourists drink most of it.
<3
as a German engineer, in accordance to point 10 and 11, I can explain point 78. Our tap water is in fact the beverage that is best controlled and must meet very strict demands (see point 37). So why waste money on mineral water when you can get the best water available by just opening you tap? 🙂
And I sincerely apologize for point 57. This has something to do with the naked feet thing, you know…
Actually german tap water isn’t as good as most people think. According to a survey (unesco) the quality of potable water in Germany is worse than in Mali or Iran.
see this link:
http://www.info-wasserfilter.de/trinkwasser_deutschland.html
To put this into perspective a little bit:
You are linking to a page that is trying to advertize and sell water filters. They say they’re linking to the UNESCO study on water quality (of 2003 while there are much more recent ones even by UNESCO) – but instead it only leads to a very short article by the regional news site “Flensburg Online” which is trying to sum up that study (again no link to the actual thing) only giving you a one page document of that ranking of water quality. Below that ranking with no mention on what is measured how it says:
“These are composite figures based upon a range of factors, such as the quantity and quality of freshwater, especially groundwater, wastewater treatment facilities as well as legal issues such as the application of pollution regulations.”
And if it hasn’t become increasingly clear by now that ranking has very little to do with the quality of german tap water there is a clarification of the UNESCO how this ranking came to be: http://www.unesco.de/wwap0.html
Unfortunatly this is in german but let me sum it up briefly:
1. German water quality is fine (not even talking only about tap water)
2. The authors of the study admit to having made mistakes and removed the beforementioned page from the study.
say no more …. i am speechless forever more. gobsmacked.
Actually #78 says quite the opposite of what you explained and thus baffles me. Because (yes, I’m German, too) I absolutely agree. x)
“If you ask a German a question… be prepared for the answer.”
An American once (in Germany, in the 90s) said that to me – I was totally unaware (and unsure) of what he was talking about until THE INTERNET kicked in and helped me understand his point….
It simply is true: Why asking anyway if you don’t care for the answer? It sometimes is _that_ simple. And true.
“Hi. How are you?” – “Well…”
(You get the picture, I hope. Also “didn’t care…” insted of “don’t care…” would have been correct I assume – right?)
Instead, not insted. Point #10 & 13. From Germany with Love.
totally!
OMG! As a French living in Berlin I must say: this is sooo true!
OMG! As a French living in Berlin I must say: sooo true!
I love it so much and it’s sooooo true 😀
especially all the facts about wurst, bread, meat in general 😀
Great list!!!
Made my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Liebe Grüße 🙂
A lot of this reminds of Austria and Austrians. 😉
Btw, I have a list like this about Australians too, but it’s about meeting them in general, not necessarily in Australia. Oh and it’s on my head. 😉
Oops!! Meant to say, it’s IN my head.
This list is comedy! I love it. So true. I’m from Cali, so when the sun comes out in Berlin, I wear my lil dresses, with shades, sandals and bright lips even when the majority of Berliners are still in their parkas and jeans. 🙂
Well, as a Ggerman, I agree with most of it.. and here in the neighbouring countty the need of proper bread and wurst and so on I never was beware of turned out. but when it comes to tallness, boots, frankness, bikes, camping, putting cheese on everything, English and tidiness Dutchmen are the even “better” Germans…
English and tidiness?
i am sorry, but i have to disagree..they are not punctual..take the trains for example..the ICE trains are almost always late..and half the time, i have been treated rudely by the germans..hence, would not say this article is exaggerating but it might be mentioning only the good stuff..
i am an exchange student btw..therefore this is not a tourist viewpoint, i have lived long enough amongst them to know this.
yes and no. probably more punctual than australians.. but still less punctual than dutch people (even their trains). in Germany you have still the so called academic-15-minutes you can come late, in Holland you are regarded to be 10 minutes early. 🙂
81. Germans love to stare at things (and on other germans as well)
Yup, deffo—–especially in Dresden, for some strange reason. Would I have been staring as well?
The Germans are not so bad with staring. You should go to Turkey. That’s where you learn how to stare. The Turks practically undress you with their stares. That’s the one thing I couldn’t get used to while living there.
Yup, been to Turkey – totally different kettle of fish.
Great List can only agree! 🙂
One thing you forgot to mention though is “schadenfreude”. This seems to be unique to Germans too
Nah, ‘schadenfreude’ is definitely not unique to Germies. It’s German word all right, and is often ‘borrowed’, like ‘kindergarten’ – the concept of ‘schadenfreude’ is universal!
This totally made my day!!!
Addition to #68:
Germans worship the pig so much, they also created a pastry named after it which is called “Schweineohr” (pig’s ear). Yummy!
They also love feeding the _real_ pig’s ears to their dogs (see #53).
my fav is point 14 and 15! I think we are the reason, why david hasselhoff still thinks he’s famous…
Laughed so hard! As a german I have to agree to many things, but some are probably limited to certain areas of Germany. But a great list, thank you!
24. Germans are always prepared for the rain.
Well, it’s just liquid sunshine, really.
# 72 very good, Germies don’t mind talking about money at all, or asking directly how much you earn, at least in my experience. Brits, if they are strangers, wouldn’t really do that.
# 66 The Sparkasse in MS is open on Saturdays, until 3 pm 😉
Mmm, #62 – where are all the Dachshunds? Call me blind, and stupide, if you may, but I just haven’t any. Not one.
seen any 😉
Ha, ha. No wonder I do not feel German at all even though I was born here. Great post!!!
This list brings back many many fond memories!!!! My most fervent wish is to someday go back to Germany and retire and die there. It’s my sort of heaven with all that biking, hospitality, wurst, beer, and many pickled vegetables! (Man, those Germans can pickle!) Don’t get me wrong, I love America, but we just don’t have that “gemütlichkeit” here.
Very well observed 😉
made it to reddit, but you probably already know: http://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/unsc7/what_i_know_about_germans/
#1
Made my day. Your list is quite over exaggerated but funny nevertheless.
Greetings from Hamburg, Germany (FYI it is raining, and I’am going on a run)
Love your list. It’s fun to read and quite sweet and generous as well 🙂
Prepared for the rain? My impression is that they don’t really give a damn about the rain… In italy people starts opening umbrellas the moment it starts raining…here nobody does anything. I’d say they’re very good at pretending it’s not raining 😉
Regarding the water issue: I think there is a conflict with claim 58: “Germans are distrustful of any beverage that doesn’t sparkle.”
While devices for carbonizing tap water are somewhat popular in Germany, most of the people I know do not (or no longer) use them. The problem is: It tastes different (can’t elaborate on that) and especially after a while it tastes foul (probably from those PET bottles used).
So I buy bottled water and I’m not the only one by far. Just observe the beverage section in your german supermarket and you will find that even the smallest ones (but not the discounters) feature not one but usually several up to a dozen different brands of bottled water, starting sometimes as low as EUR 0,99 for a case of 12 x 0,7l = 8,4l of water.
The carbonizing machines are quite expensive, the CO2 cartridges are not cheap either and as said above: It tastes foul.
So, when I want to drink water, I take bottled one. But i will happily use my tap water with syrup or “lemon tea concentrate” to create other beverages.
Germies love to explain things in GREAT detail.
and a person doing it is called a “besserwisser”
I prefer Klugscheisser!
ß
No offence intended Hans. I love your post, it illustrates a well thought out, logical Germie.
:-))
Got us.
Your list made my day. As a German I can say that most of this is true. Some is just common knowledge, but you pointed out a lot of stuff that is not so well-known, I guess. Kudos for making me laugh so hard. I wish you recommend visiting Germany to everybody.
With this kind of great post you are attracting much more Germans than others… I guess Germans usually nag & complain more than seeing their strengths…
well, a lot of peeps enjoy reading about themselves, or at least identifying with ‘something’, ‘anything’ which promotes their self-image.
Awesome list, totally agree on most of them! 😀
Not on flip-flops though: I’ve been living in North Germany for four years now, and every time it’s not raining and temperatures “soar” above 16 degrees, they all take out their shorts and flip-flops.
“German clubs routinely remind the world of the universality of 90s pop.” – You’re going to the wrong clubs in MS 😉 – Heaven is not where ‘it’s’ at! Handbag at the ready.
just great! now i’m going to enjoy some wurst with my dachshund!
79. Sunday evening, 8.15 p.m. No Germans on the street. Why? Because the crime series “Tatort” is displayed. In family or alone, your German will follow the actions of the inspector and hope to find the killer before the latter does.
80. 31 December. For the only time of the year, (all!) Germans watch a 10-minute TV programme in English language entitled Dinner for One. Then with a happy “the same procedure as last year, Ms Sophie” on their lips, they will open their bottles of champagne and celebrate the new year.
Yes! Love these new additions! We have a copy of Dinner for One ready to watch, but haven’t seen it yet. Maybe this Silvester?
You should refrain from using wrong statements like “no germans” and “all germans”. Both “trends” you showed are probably followed by less than 50% of the german population.
Hans, the whole list is about (all) germans!
And for the rest I have to quote Isalotte:
“Germies love to explain things in GREAT detail.”
…. and they like to nag and lament. 😉
Lighten up! Germies are so serious, is a stereotype that comes to mind! (which is deffo not true because some peeps, no matter what their nationality, take things too seriously!)
80. yeah, and Dinner for One is virtually unheard of in UK!
You can watch “Dinner for One” at
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xncnyt_dinner-for-one-hdtv-720p-der-90-geburtstag_fun
The beginning is in German (he explains the strange situation and explains what they’ll be talking in English about) and the rest is in English.
Unfortunately, I’ve already had the pleasure of watching it, in Germany.
81. German guys love football. German girls love football.
utterly funny and mostly true – except the thing with the Dackel (aka dachshund) – there aren’t almost any, anymore
Really good observation. Except for #78!
I think it depends on the region, but we have amazing tap water here in Bayreuth. It’s clean and tastes better than bottled water 🙂
As a german who is living in hamburg I have to say that we don’t have any rain at all – but liquid sunshine.
Im german and never prepared for rain. I just ignore it, because FUCK YOU, RAIN! Im not made of Zuckerwatte! 😉
In MS where the majority of the population cycle to work, a lot of peeps are prepared for rain.
…like the point with the small talk. My English collegues always look a little bemused, when I answer their “how are you” with “come to the point”.
Greeting from Germany.
I highly doubt you really do that. Wie geht’s? Komm zur Sache.
I believe him – I get that response a lot…
Well, I am still yet to meet a German who has said that to me – lived there for years and years. I wonder where they all are….not in Germany!
Well it usually goes along the lines “Wie gehts” “Geht so/Muss/Ganz ok, was ist/gabs/gibts/willst Du?”.
It’s a matter of who is asking /trying to start some small talk – but to be quiet honest, often my answer is: Was willst Du?
my boss does that. because he is sooooooo efficient. But
We are not completely impolite.
When someone aske my how I am, I answer “I’m fine thanks”. And _then_ I immediately ask “How can I help you” (i.e. the “polite version” of “What do you want from me?”).
I took what he said literally, he mentioned ‘colleague’, so I presumed he vaguely knew the person. That’s where I was coming from, at least, not the guy at the cash till, or at the bustop, or the call centre guy phoning to sell you something…..
great post, beautifully written and so true in many points. you really got to know germany pretty well 🙂
Absolutely awesome!!! Recognized myself in most of the points! Hilarious!!!! Thumbs up!
“He suspects it is because the German language is not particularly made for meandering small talk.” Too true. Great list!
Being a German who has been and is currently living abroad I do admire your powers of observation. Many traits of my fellow countrymen I took for granted. After so many years in other countries they do seem a little odd at times 🙂
I am not saying there no odd traits with Englishmen, Americans or Austrians, however, they are just different ones…..
Greetz
Ah #79: Germans like to write ‘Greetz’…. many I know certainly do, don’t know any other nationality following this seemingly Germie trait, yet
Isalotte Greetz is northern. You won’t see it in the South. Guess it’s a regional thing.
Ok, if we want to split hairs, then the whole list should refer to ‘Westphalians’ then, I guess ;). I always love the Z in Greetz, reminds me of ‘Ze Germans’.
“Tapwatergate” it is, then… 😉 😉 *lol*
This is hilarious!!!!!
And so true, I miss my bread so much and a decent department store, and a ‘Baumarkt’ to be able to do everything myself. Oh and leave Münster and go to Freiburg where I am from, there is no such thing as rain there!!!!And no such thing as angry Berliners either 🙂
Great article. I’ve tried the same for Australia.
Take a look and tell me what I forgot:
What I know about Australians: http://bobblume.de/?page_id=5
Let me check it out! (And I am a girl, Liv = Olivia).
Yes, yes, yes! It is impossible to go into a pub in Australia and NOT end up talking to people for extended periods of time about all sorts of things. And YES to the tea (at least 5 cups a day, over here) even when it is super hot. I love it!
This is ‘normally’ true of everywhere but Germany…. although ‘generally’ the Oslonians could give ’em a run for their money ;-), some of the Oslonians, that is.
whoops, I meant to write MS, not Germany. Sorry.
So, you do agree to some of the things?
That would make me happy: if you like, please write in my guestbook. It’s pretty empty in there 😉
“Germans don’t tend to jay-walk.”
Only when kids are present.
“They don’t appreciate the use of the rude finger when driving. If you give it to a fellow driver, that driver reserves the right to report you and your licence plate and you will get a fine”.
No. Most of the time you won’t because the complainant has to present “independent” witnesses (i.e. your work colleague who was sitting in the car might count, but your spouse won’t). In most cases this requirement can not be fulfilled.
It’s war on german roads and many drivers are that mad that showing them the finger or some other bad sign frees your mind.
So true. Missing my dark bread over here.
Not just the common stereotypes, but very well an thoroughly observed! Though I am in love with tap water, too. But I guess it is uncommon to order tap water here…
64. Germans extract a curiously large amount of pleasure from the acts of giving, receiving and processing paperwork. They revel in it. Roll in it. Cover themselves with it and inhale the scent of paper.
This is SO German. Being an immigrant in Germany but having grown up here this list is a weird mixture of observations I made and characteristics I seemed to have adopted. This makes me very afraid!
Well, don’t be afraid. After the first try to take over the world failed horrible we germans fall back to paperwork. Oh, and we work on our sense of humor and how to cope with history and not be upset by any reference to the crimes commited by our society.
#56 is not true – it may be true for snobby Westfalen (which Münster belongs to), but not for the rest of Germany. Although I must admit that it IS better to be clear about what you are saying. I agree on most comments that #78 is not true either – Germans are hopelessly in love with their tap water (although Dutch tap water is even better :P). Just don’t order some at a restaurant or a café!
Anything else seems true and I had to smile the whole list through. Thanks for this entertaining list!!!
Greetz from Germany
Trisha
Yay! Munich tap water! Straight from the Alps (via Bad Tölz, but we don’t like to dwell on that).
In North Rhine-Westphalia, we too love a freshly drawn pint of Leitungsheimer, or Kraneburger!
Thanks for sharing this – It is sooo funny
Epic List 🙂
Muenster is also one of the most beautiful places to live in Germany. Regarding the club scene: Head over to Cologne, Berlin or Hamburg for some decent venues…and dancers 😉
there are loads of clubs in MS
Congrats,
being a german i found myself in most of the descriptions. And yes, for me the point about Tap water is not true. In fact, i prefer it. Yet we tend to use a device called “Soda Streamer” to creating sparkling water from tap water 😉 (maybe also something that germans tend to do but not talk about that much)
But truly a thorough analysis of the “german character”
yeah, yuck..the first time a Germie gave me water bubbled-up in a Soda-stream, I was ‘perturbed’, to say the very least. Weird.
Nice list 🙂
Regarding the weather/rain: It depends very much on the region in Germany which you live in. Münster is known as one of the most rainy places in Germany. In very sunny regions around Freiburg or München that would be completely different.
Laughed my ass of the entire time. Only disagreement with #78. Me, friends and co-workers alike drink tap water all the time.
Thx!
As a German, I couldn’t agree more.
A list about Germans and no football reference at all? I am a bit disappointed!
Cars and football may well comprise the 22 points I need to get me to 100 hahaha. Obviously my lack of interest in both shows – must remedy this.
I miss our way of driving. Nothing here about our Jeckyll&Hyde ascpect. Ever experienced Germans when they go driving in their cars on their Autobahn with absolutely no speed limit? Ever made a trip on a highway coming from Holland or Belgium, crossing the border to Germany? Ever seen whats happening alloversudden? When so many normal drivers seem to mutate into a kind of speed-mosters at the very moment they enter their country?
Hell, yeah. This is not only true for borders to neighboring countries but everywhere were (on a long distance) a speed limit of like 120 km/h (thankfully they nowadays tend to up that to 130 km/h) was posted and it is now over.
But here’s the thing: Germans are used to fast driving and they handle the speed and also the rude driving behaviour of others (and all these risky situation which result from this) notably well. In fact the biggest risk in traffic is major difference of speed of varying vehicles. And here we get back to all those Dutch, French or Belgians: As they are used to only 120 km/h they tend to stay with that (which is theoretically probably a smart idea). But they continue also with that on the left lane, blocking the faster traffic. This increases anger and road rage.
So one might argue that the problem is not that Germany has no general speed limit but that the surrounding countries have. Apparently this does not impose a general risk increase as long as all participants in the traffic are used to such speeds.
Amazing, I couldn’t stop laughing, some things are just too true and I never thought about it. We made something similar for students going to Australia, but I guess it should be extended: http://www.meinpraktikum.de/auslandspraktikum/Australien/insider
This is VERY cute and VERY true. We love German beer and we do not drink Fosters. And everyone knows to stay out of the water at sunset … those sharks get hungry then …
Yeah, Fosters, yuck. It’s all about Castlemaine xxxx, everyone knows that 😉
Regarding #78: Germans like drinking tap water as it is more thoroughly controlled than most commercial table waters.
I concur. Right here on my desk there is a water bottle, elucidating the advantages of water that has run through several layers of volcanic rock . In it, however, is plain tap water. Also, I trust the tap water more than some bottled water that has been carted through several countries, giving it ample time to absorb what-do-I-know from the bottles plastic and to let any germs in it multiply.
A wunderfully funny article. You got me lol’d, thanks for that.
Truly beautiful greetings from – guess what? – Germany
Will
Nice one 😉
Always makes me wonder why, whenever I read non-germans analyse us germans, it makes us look so unhappy. Which we aren’t.
Oh, and about the tap water: it’s exactly the opposite. Germans will drink tap water all the time, as it is the cleanest water you can get. Much cleaner than the bottled stuff. They just may not do it outside their homes…
@Frank. I agree but… ask for tap water in a restaurant/café, Germans will look at you as if you had asked for the moon (unless you put on your best French accent, French only drink tap water :P, even at restaurants :P).
Yes, because in a restaurant you are supposed to be ordering something that actually COSTS something. They cannot charge you for tap water and that is why some of the waiters even get angry. Better tell them it’s for swallowing a pill and order another drink to satisfy them! 😉
Of course they can charge you for tap water. But they might not want to do that.
me german…i always drink tap water in restaurants and nobody looks as if i asked for the moon Oo
@notafish : But that is because the german restaurant/café can’t take a price for tap water 😀 And they don’t wanna give anything without getting anything for it =P Even not for tap water xd
Hey I am living in Münster too. First of all i enjoyed your article. Thanks for this awesome insight. i would like to add some new points that i prefer about Germans.
* German men love their cars and dogs more than their wives
* When it comes to car manufacturing, no body could beat them.
* They hate catholic church for some reason, which i am trying to figure out.
* They are notorious for stealing sonnenliege, specially near public swimming pools.
Is that last one really true? I assumed it was something racist our British tabloids made up…
Hahaha ! this is where i learned about this habit of them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLVFXMaFyoo And you are right….its about Englishmen..as always… 😉
I am German, from Münster in fact… And I have to admit that it is true. The first thing we think of when going swimming, is where to put the towel so we have a nice place to rest after swimming… 😀
Agree to all, except 78
Nice list! Most of the things mentioned seem to be true 😉
The only thing I didn’t get at all is 2. … cheese sauce …
What do you mean exactly?
Regards, Maja
This is magic am still laughing now!!!!!
Love the boot comment(s) … I have been living in Florida for over 20 years now and I still prefer boots over flip flops 🙂
So true! Scarily so.
why does it end at 78??? It’s driving me crazy!!! Do a 100.
I was in Germany and I am agree with number 5.
Wow – this is soooo funny. Nearly laughed my head off from start to the end. I am German – lived in Australia, then Germany, Switzerland and currently residing in the US – this is a great list and captures the essence of The German beautifully. Sure you can argue one or the other point, but – hey – there are Germans and there are Germans 😉
I for one have probably lived overseas too much, because I just love running around barefoot. In fact everybody looks at me for doing it so much. And I even own flipflops, although I still do not wear them when I go shopping, except once to HomeDepot 😀
Great list that I will gladly share!
as the thorough german that i am, i have to ask: what’s up with the numbers? why do they start from one again below each image?
oops, that a mistake I thought I’d fixed. I was being sloppy, like a true Brit.
Nice read, I’ve been laughing a lot. 😀 I will forward it to my friends. And it’s so true!
For example, I’ve spent the half of today in IKEA. 😉 Of course we took our 4 dogs with us. (My cat had to stay at home of course.)
Although I seem to be an exception concerning food, music and TV.
I don’t like beer, I hate sauerkraut, and I’m vegetarian since 14 years. And many of my friends are veggies too, mostly the young ones.
I never listen to pop music, if sung by David Hasselhoff or not. 😉 I’m a metal / goth / rock / indie fan.
I also do not like “HIMYM” and “Two and Half Men”, but I watch a lot crime TV series. – Apart from that, I’m a sci-fi geek and prefer things like “Doctor Who” and “Torchwood” (I just had to mention that since you’re from the UK. *g*)
And I’ve been working 10 years for the government in Nordrhein-Westphalen – and I can assure you, we DO work. 😉 At least we IT people.
BTW, it is the beginning of June. Last week I spent a lot of time at the nearby public open air pool, and since then it has been raining and cold all the time. So, you’d better expect rain at any time, even in the middle of summer. 😉
It THRILLS me you are all enjoying it! Agreed, German tap water is the best in the world … perhaps it tends to get overlooked because it doesn’t sparkle …
I am from the ‘Stuttgarter Gegend’ and wonder, genetically, if anything happening north of the Main can truly be called ‘German’.
Too much Prussan influence. Could be the other way around, now that I think about it, and the celtic Schwaben are not real german.
Anyway, on the southern side of the list should be the injunction to absolutely Haeussle baua.
I am working on a ‘What I Know About Bavarians’ list … because moving here blew every piece of data I had painstakingly collected about the mid-North Germans out of the water. Unfortunately I know nada about the BWs.
looking forward to the list!
as someone who moved from Hamburg to Bamberg (yeah, I know, it’s Franken and not Bavaria…) I actually have troubles finding differences… but then again that might be because I don’t socialize a lot with “real” bavarians/franken.
very enjoyable read! 🙂
Even if the BW do not like to hear it they share somethings in common with the Bavarians in general -but differ a lot in other things.
The southern germans are more open to small-talk in general (the BWs say “schwaetze”) and drink less Schnaps (most of us) but build the better cars (Mercedes & BMW) 😉
Thank yo sooo much for this list. I am german, i like beeing german and at least we, the germans, have started to be able to laugh about ourselves….which seemed to be a process in the last 10 years. Normally those lists are very unfair and if british people do it there is always insulting world war 2, Hitler bullshit in it. but this one is just great and true….but i dont agree with some comments here: WE LOVE DAVID HASSELHOFF, but in an ironic way 🙂
You will note he appears in reference to your wicked sense of humour … I know you guys are laughing at him! And this same wicked sense of humour extends to your wonderful ability to laugh at yourselves – a very important trait!
This is list is so true and as a German who lived some time in Australia, I now also kind of bewildered of the Germans and their way 🙂
Thanx for this pretty list! Yes, thats how we are. The pashmina thing is western, the sandals thing more eastern. I am really surrounded by paper. Lots of paper. But there is abnother thing growing: more and more of us throw away their tv set. Its not only about Boris and Till 😉 but about David I think…
So true re pashminas being western. Am off to Dresden at the end of the month, shall keep my eyes peeled for more sandals and socks!
Since I am living in Dresden I will sport my sandals and socks (white!) at the end of the month and leave my pashmina at home… (please not the witty sense of humor!)
almost everything is true
Greetings from Germany
Everything true, except for #78. Especially in Bavaria, tap water is as good as anything you can buy at a store, and everyone drinks it. Also, I lots of people walk barefoot.
Hell, you’re so right in nearly every single point..! 😀
@Jason: Hasslehoff FTW! Face it! ;D
Cheers from germany.. 🙂
I love when the say that “stilles Wasser” is “too dry”. As dry as water can be :))
I read this one somewhere:
“The whole world is wondering why anybody would want their bottled water to be sparkling.
Germans, on the other hand, are wondering why anybody would buy bottled tap water.”
I love your list! I would add “A toilet brush for every toilet”, a motto that seems to be followed religiously by all, from the fanciest restaurant to the grubbiest gas station.
WTF? Why shouldn’t there be a brush for every toilet? Are you going to knock on your toilet-neighbor’s door to borrow one? And they are just 0.99 € at IKEA anyway ^_^
This is the best summary I had ever seen about Germans. Thank you 🙂
Greetings from Germany
Haha, so true. Except that we don’t like David Hasselhoff. We just find it adorably funny that he still thinks he is responsible for the Mauerfall 🙂
http://www.shortnews.de/id/499117/David-Hasselhoff-ist-sich-sicher-Der-Mauerfall-ist-auch-sein-Verdienst
[…] What I Know About Germans We love this! Our new favourite expat blogger Liv of A Big Life penned this epic list when she lived in Münster, Nord Rhine Westphalia. W […]
Germans really do love love love How I Met Your Mother! As soon as I say I’m Canadian, they immediately associate me with the Robin Sparkles character and are dismayed when I say I’ve never watched an episode.
Thanks to Ms. Sparkles, some Germans also quite erroneously think that Canadians are like a bunch of wild gun toting Texans. I’ve had arguements with Germans who are convinced that all Canadians own a gun when it couldn’t be further from the truth.
🙂 🙂
Germans are always prepared for the rain.
number 24 pretty much sums it up. this is the most loveable and very true list about my species. thank you for making me smile, while sorting out: PAPERS.
Greetings from Germany!
In a nutshell, most things in your post match with a typical German and our lifestyle. But one thing is completely wrong: We don’t like David Hesselhoff so much… 😉
Haha, we don’t like him. WE LOVE HIM! 🙂
This list is a thing of beauty. I remember taking my two-year-old out for a ride in her pram in the summer of 2003 when it was 40 degrees Celsius for six months and a German friend looking at me disapprovingly and saying, ‘Barfuss?’ The concept of barefoot is not one that Germans have grasped, unlike bakeries, wurst, early age drinking, dogs in restaurants and – two things you sadly neglect to mention – cheesecake and orange tans.
Cheesecake and orange tans? Sounds sticky. . .